


an antifan's guide to dating an idol

by autumnyuyu



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Antifan!Baekhyun, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, idol!chanyeol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-07-21 03:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnyuyu/pseuds/autumnyuyu
Summary: “Was there an escape route that you’ve prepared when you told me to drive or did you just blindly climb into the backseat of a stranger’s car?”“To be perfectly honest, I panicked and saw an unparked car with someone sitting at the driver’s seat. I just hoped for the best when I yanked on the door handle. Lo and behold, here we are now,” he gestured vaguely to his surroundings. “Thanks for being so unguarded and leaving the doors unlocked. You might want to secure things better next time,” Chanyeol suggested with a warm smile....Alternatively, Byun Baekhyun has a love and hate relationship with Park Chanyeol's existence.





	1. Step 1: Have him break into your car

As he clicked away on his laptop, a sense of fear dwelled deep within him. Sure, there was the anticipation that’s propelling him forward but this was a deadly race against time. One tiny misclick, a millisecond’s delay would cause him dearly. After years of practice along with practical usage, he was confident in his ticketing abilities. For every single event they held, he managed to obtain a way in whether it be concerts or fanmeets, music show recordings or award shows. This concert shouldn’t be any different. But what if…

 

He emptied out a relieved sigh and closed his laptop. Lady Luck never got over her crush on him, seeing as how he managed to snatch a ticket close to the stage before all the tickets were declared to be sold out mere seconds later. Perfect. Now all that he needed to do was ready his camera and wait a month or so before seeing his beloved idol. His most beloved idol… And his not-so-great partner.

 

If anyone were to ask if Byun Baekhyun was a fan of the musical duo Bright, he’d show them his massive collection of albums and the enormous box containing ticket studs from all the events he attended without a fail. He was a veteran through and through, running one of the most well known fan account dedicated to all things Do Kyungsoo (he still felt proud of himself for being able to claim the name KyungsooShadow before anyone else did). That being said, he was also well known for being an anti-fan.

 

Maybe labelling Baekhyun as an anti-fan was going too far (due to the inevitability that his money does go into that person’s paycheck) but he clearly established his biased stance. Never once did he fail to crop out the other member of Bright when he posted the photos from last night’s event. If impossible to crop, he straight up just blurs out the other person’s face and call it a day. He was quite vocal about the situation as well, ranting on his spare account about how Kyungsoo should pursue a solo career. Call him hypocritical but whilst being the biggest fan of one member of the duo, he was also the anti-fan of the other. To those in the fandom, it was quite clear that although KyungsooShadow proves to be the best source of Kyungsoo content, the account does have a tendency of hating Park Chanyeol.

 

♥

 

Baekhyun was scrambling to leave as soon as the class was dismissed. He quickly shoved his belongs into his backpack, being more delicate with his laptop of course, before skipping down the stairs and zooming out of the lecture hall. They had a substitute that day and while he was usually the last to leave the class, Baekhyun was more eager to flee and rendezvous with Jongdae, even if the other was more likely than not to whine his ears off.

 

As expected, Jongdae was complaining about his workload while sipping a cup of Chocolate Cappuccino. “Ah waeeee! A whole essay by tomorrow, Baek, tomorrow! Who does that!?” Baekhyun merely responded by rolling his eyes.

 

“We’re students, what did you expect?” Jongdae didn’t have a snarky comeback prepared. “Plus, if you have the time to whine, you have the time to write that essay. Use your time efficiently,” a smile of satisfaction was directed at the screen of his laptop. Jongdae noticed with a hint of annoyance that his friend wasn’t giving him his fullest attention.

 

“ _Use your time efficiently_ ,” the brunette mocked, “says the one who’s busy with cropping out Chanyeol from official photos of his own duo just so he can make a collage filled with hundreds of Do Kyungsoo pictures.” In Baekhyun’s defense, Kyungsoo was the finest work of art he’d ever came across. Dedicating collages to him were never and will never be a waste of time.

 

The brunette continued, sealing the gateway of opportunity for his friend to plead his case. “Have I ever told you that seems to go a bit too far? What did Chanyeol even do for you to hate a person that much? Rejected your love confession? Murdered a puppy?” he jokingly prompted.

 

“First of all, how dare you put the heinous crime of puppycide on the same level of rejection. Secondly, _his existence._ That’s what he did wrong,” Baekhyun huffed as he slammed his laptop shut, allowing him to properly face his friend. As if triggered by the mention of Park Chanyeol, an adorable angry pout found a nesting place on Baekhyun’s face.

 

Jongdae shoved a cinnamon bun at Baekhyun in an attempt to vanquish the pout. The move proved to be super effective when his friend’s face lit up with delight, his little pout fading into a tiny smile. When he deemed that his friend was in a better mood, having stuffed the cinnamon bun into his mouth and now looking like a little chubby squirrel, Jongdae asked, “would you care to elaborate on why his entire existence is a mistake?”

 

Baekhyun immediately flashed the brunette a deadly glare, which would’ve been deadly if he didn’t have a mouthful of cinnamon bun and didn’t look like a chipmunk on a warpath. Jongdae simply reached over and wiped away some crumbs lingering at the edges of Baekhyun’s mouth. “Frankly, your attempted evil glares make you look more adorable than you already do.” Jongdae retracted his hand and reached for his drink.

 

“I hate you,” Baekhyun mumbled after he finished the pastry.

 

“Not as much as you hate Park Chanyeol’s existence, apparently,” Jongdae teased with a smirk. At this point, he was nearly finished with his Cappuccino and debated on whether he should stick around and confront his friend or get another caffeinated drink. Hmm. Repressed feelings or a drink? He decided there was enough Cappuccino left for him to get his friend to spill the beans.

 

“Okay so it might be going too far saying that his existence is a mistake,” Baekhyun admitted. “What I meant is his existence in Bright, I guess? You know I love Kyungsoo so much for his vocal range, his smooth voice, his style, _his everything_ basically! You also know that I prefer godly vocals over talking. Yes, Jongdae, I do know it’s an entire music genre called rapping but I’m still not going to acknowledge it as such. If Park Chanyeol likes talking so much he probably should’ve became a motivational speaker or something, not join a musical duo and tie down one of the best vocalists of the century!”

 

“Soooo basically, you don’t like his rapping?” Jongdae asked a bit skeptically.

 

“No, you are missing the point.” What was so hard to understand? “I’m just saying that his talking interferes with Kyungsoo’s vocals and that Kyungsoo is much better off without a partner!” Baekhyun was back with his pout. Jongdae regretted not ordering another drink. God save his coffee-deprived self, grant him the prowess to put up with his idiotic roommate.

 

“Baekhyun, you are attending university. By that level of education, I can safely infer that you have enough common sense and logic to solve quadratic equations and shit. So why can’t you comprehend that even without Chanyeol, Kyungsoo would probably still be in a duo with a partner who raps?” Jongdae was giving his friend his trademarked ‘I am so done with you’ face.

 

Baekhyun ignored the look like he always did. “It’s just not fair! Why, of all people, does Park Chanyeol get to be in a duo with such a vocally talented musician and share screen time with him and everything! Kyungsoo should go solo so I can buy albums with purely just him and his gorgeous voice in it. That way, I can attend concerts solely devoted to him in all his glory without his tagalong!” Baekhyun huffed.

 

Jongdae just sighed and flicked Baekhyun on the forehead. “I can’t believe I thought you had a legitimate reason for being such a big anti-fan when in reality, you’re just a jealous, salty solo stan. Dude, there’s two people in a duo for a reason. Kyungsoo has a solo career in acting, maybe you should watch a couple episodes of his dramas instead of wasting time on photoshop. Can’t you at least come up with a better rationale for hating him? I’ve been putting up with this anti-fan nonsense for far too long for you to reveal that you are just a bitter solo stan!”

 

Baekhyun opened his mouth to retort, just to snap it shut moments later after he couldn’t configure any arguments in his defense. So maybe he was a little (a lot) bias, but people chose biases for a reason. He did realize that a lot of this hatred streamed from his preferences in music styles. Perhaps, if Chanyeol put his baritone vocals to better use… Nope. Baekhyun would still dislike him due to his constant interactions with Kyungsoo. Maybe the real problem here was his own incapability to accept anyone as Kyungsoo’s partner. He wasn’t just a salty solo stan, was he?

 

While Baekhyun was too busy spacing out, a blonde barista stroll over to their table. Without giving away the surprise, he quietly snuck behind Jongdae and lightly tapped the brunette’s shoulder. A little startled, Jongdae involuntarily jolted at the touch. He turned around to face the barista and a wide smile started to spread across his face. “Minseok-hyung,” Jongdae greeted.

 

Minseok mirrored Jongdae’s smile then noticed the raven haired boy who was so engrossed in his thoughts. “Nice to see you, Baekhyun,” he tried to address. Realizing that the boy was in his own zone, the barista focused on his boyfriend instead. “Haewon just took over at the counter so I’m done with my shift for today. Do you want to buy another drink before we go to see that movie, or are you ready to leave now?”

 

“Should I snap Baekhyun out of his trance before leaving him alone?” he contemplated as he stood up. “Yeah, okay, I should. Minseok-hyung, can you wait for me at the door?” His boyfriend gave a quick nod, snatched the empty Cappuccino cup on the table, threw it into a bin, then walked towards the exit.

 

“Baekhyun! Oi!” Jongdae nudged his friend with his elbow. When that failed, he resorted to shaking him while repeatedly chanting his name. The brunette rolled his eyes at Baekhyun’s antics before slapping him square on the face. Of course, that got Baekhyun’s attention, inciting a tiny yip as he felt a sharp spark of pain explode on his right cheek.

 

“What was that for!” he demanded while cradling his stinging cheek with his right hand.

 

“You were spacing out,” Jongdae deadpanned. “Anyways, Minseok-hyung is done with work so I’m going to watch a movie with him. Feel free to stay here or go home or do whatever. Oh, I might be getting home a little late today, maybe not going home at all, just a heads up. You better not miss me too much.”

 

“I can’t believe you are ditching me to hangout with your boyfriend,” Baekhyun booted up his laptop once again.

 

“We invited you to join us,” the brunette pointed out. “You’re the one who’s ditching us to go to a fansign where you’ll have a meet and greet with the person who you supposedly hate. If anyone, you’re the bad friend in this relationship.” With that, Jongdae skipped to the cafe doors where he went his own merrily way with his boyfriend, leaving Baekhyun at a deserted table. Hearing the welcome bell chime and the door shutting, his gaze flickered back to his laptop instead of the vanishing couple.

 

“Who needs friends when you can stare at pictures of Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun muttered to himself.  

 

♥

 

Baekhyun left the cafe as the start of the fanmeet approached. He should get there two hours earlier to line up. After all, part of the fan experience was standing in lines and trying to get the best possible seats. Barely able to contain his excitement, he made sure he had all his equipment for the fansign before speeding off in his car. To think, he was just hours away from being face-to-face with his idol.

 

Time flew by quickly. Before he knew it, he was trying to find a parking spot near the venue where the fanmeet was being held. Upon witnessing the amount of cars in the parking lot, Baekhyun knew he committed a fatal mistake that only rookies would’ve made-- he arrived far too late for the event. Damn it. Now he’ll probably be caught somewhere in the middle of the crowd, where it’s more rushed to fit everyone into the schedule so the duration of the fan’s interaction with the idols is unpredictable as heck. He internally cursed Chanyeol for being in every picture, resulting in him having to waste time cropping him out, resulting in him being late. Everything was Park Chanyeol’s fault.

 

Hearing several loud ‘dings’ deriving from his phone, Baekhyun concluded that it should be fine to stop near the side doors of the building (where there’s technically no parking space) to check his messages before venturing to another parking lot nearby for legal parking. He opened his messages only to be greeted with texts from Jongdae gushing about how much fun he was having with Minseok. Tsk, that little showoff. Baekhyun followed his urges and spammed the annoying brunette with the ‘unimpressed’ emoji. As a response, Jongdae replied with the ‘smirk’ and somehow, things escalated into a full blown emoji spamming war.  

 

Due to being immersed in his conversation (i.e. the trading of emoticons), Baekhyun failed to detect the tiny crowd forming outside his car. He also didn’t realize that the back door of his car was currently being breached until he bounced in his seat due to the recoil of a car door being slammed shut. What the fuck. Did someone just break into his car? Is a random stranger sitting at the back seat of his car? Is this unforeseen circumstance going to sabotage his plans of having the perfect fanmeet with Do Kyungsoo?

 

Before Baekhyun could spiral into a meltdown with the stranger in his car, his eyes caught the eyes of the intruder via the rear-view mirror. Sirens were sounding off in his head. He knew those eyes. He knew that face. He also knew that his day has just gotten a million times worse.

 

Baekhyun was seconds away from opening his mouth to ‘politely’ tell (read: yell at) the trespasser to beat it; the other person spoke up first. “If you don’t want to be mauled by a herd of fangirls, I suggest you start driving. _Now_.” Baekhyun stared out the windows and weighed his options. Death or death? At least he could probably coerce some Kyungsoo photos from the intruder if he went with the latter option.

 

Feeling a strong migraine coming on, Baekhyun sped away from the screeching fangirls with Park Chanyeol occupying the backseat of his car.   

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday Lily!!!!!!!! You complained about running out of fics to read so I hope this somewhat entertains you. I still can't believe you bought privé for my birthday I'm literally shaking. Thank you for being in my life for four years, I honestly can't imagine how differently things might've been if we never became friends. Friendly reminder that you still haven't gotten your "revenge" for me semi dragging you into anime and kpop. Consider this as compensation for spamming you with the Chinese lyrics to Promise until you inevitably became an exo-l. I'll make a toast: to another year of conversations that seem really bad out of context but is still screenshotted for future references anyways. Let's make more awkward restaurant anecdotes for years and years to come. Stay strong and always remember, don't be upsetti have some spaghetti!  
> .  
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> Thank you to anyone who took the time to give this story a read! Fingers-crossed that school won't enslave me to the point where I have to go on a hiatus. You can find me at [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Autumnyuyu?lang=en) , don't hesitate to send a dm!


	2. Step 2: Have him offer you Pepero

 

“Was there an escape route that you’ve prepared when you told me to drive or did you just blindly climb into the backseat of a stranger’s car?” Baekhyun turned a corner; he currently had no idea what he was doing aside from the driving.

 

It was surreal, having someone you dedicate paragraph-long hate messages on your spare account physically sitting in the backseat of your car. It felt wrong seeing Park Chanyeol, ripped jeans and oversized sweater, just nonchalantly chilling out in the backseat as if this was the van he uses to get from schedule to schedule opposed to it being a completely random car that he just waltzed into.   

 

“To be perfectly honest, I panicked and saw an unparked car with someone sitting at the driver’s seat. I just hoped for the best when I yanked on the door handle. Lo and behold, here we are now,” he gestured vaguely to his surroundings. “Thanks for being so unguarded and leaving the doors unlocked. You might want to secure things better next time,” Chanyeol suggested with a warm smile.

 

The driver rolled his eyes at the passenger’s remark. “So I’m going to be circling around the area for how long?”

 

“Uh, just an hour or so? They start letting fans in by then and I can sneak in without being seen.”

 

“I can’t get a good seat for the fansign if we go for an hour long joyride instead of standing in line,” Baekhyun complained. Chanyeol presented him with a confused stare.

 

“Why are you worrying about attending the fansign when you have the person who you are lining up to see right behind you?” Baekhyun let out an exasperated sigh.

 

“I’m a Kyungsoo stan,” he stated bluntly. He didn’t care if Chanyeol gets offended or hurt by the declaration. Maybe this will shut him up and Baekhyun can endure the rest of the ride without going insane.

 

“Oh, me too.” Clearly the idol was missing the entire point. After a minute’s pause he continued, “I can probably let you hide out in the dressing room— under supervision of course— until the fansign is done so you won’t miss your chance at seeing Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol offered nonchalantly. “We can invite guests, so I’ll just tell the staff that you are a visiting relative or something. Offer only applies if you drive me around for an hour and not feed me to the fans,” he added quickly.

 

Did that just happen? Did Park Chanyeol just casually offer to sneak him into their dressing room? Baekhyun didn’t realize he held the fate of the crimson haired idol in his hands until this exact moment. Forget about blackmailing him for Kyungsoo pictures, he could meet Kyungsoo, like, _personally_. With the sudden epiphany, he intended to squeeze every ounce of benefit from this unwanted situation as possible. Park Chanyeol’s fate better be worth something.  

 

Upon further contemplating, Baekhyun figured that everything was probably some sugar induced nightmare anyways. He will probably wake up in the morning any second now. “Fine,” Baekhyun agreed, completely devoting himself to the belief that this was just a messed up dream. If he managed to meet Kyungsoo by the end of the nightmarish rollercoaster ride, why not? _For Kyungsoo._

 

♥

 

Baekhyun could feel the tension engulfing the car. He tried opening the windows, which had no effect at all besides annoying him further by inviting unwanted street noises. Chanyeol’s constant fiddling with his stuff didn’t help ease his irritation either. On occasions like these, he wished he kept a pair of handcuffs around so the passenger is physically restrained, losing his access to touching stuff within an arm’s length. If he makes it out of this incident alive, Baekhyun swore to buy a pair of sturdy but decently priced handcuffs.

 

“I swear to god, if you don’t stop touching my stuff, I will personally shove you out of a moving car in the middle of traffic,” he made sure to glare at the rear-view mirror for emphasis.

 

“Aw, that’s no way to talk to your idol,” a deep voice teased. “Don’t forget about our promise.” His uninvited guest appears to be an absolute moron because he moved to grab the gift bag laying on the seat next to his. The driver could feel his figurative buttons being pushed with every crinkle resounding from the backseat.

 

Baekhyun was mortified by the scene unfolding before (behind, if nitpicking specifics) him. Chanyeol was opening the gift bag— the gift bag that Baekhyun spent hours traveling from convenience store to convenience store in an attempt to accumulate as many of Kyungsoo’s favourite snacks as possible. Chanyeol was opening his gift bag, the one he made, _for Kyungsoo_. For the nth time during the car ride, Baekhyun internally screamed.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Baekhyun warned with a low snarl. Chanyeol didn’t even flinch and proceeded to peek inside the goodie bag. “That’s for Kyungsoo!” he screeched when the red haired idol reached into the bag and whipped out a box of Pepero.

 

“Then it’s fine.” Chanyeol opened the box and began munching on a stick. “Kyungsoo shares his snacks with me all the time and I do the same for him. We have a working system where it’s mutual satifistation.” He stretched his arm out with the box in hand when the car came to a halt at a red light. With a smile that reached all the way to his eyes, Park Chanyeol was intending to share the stolen Pepero. What’s more infuriating than having someone offer the Pepero that they looted from you? Park Chanyeol’s existence.

 

“I can’t believe that you have the audacity to try and give me Pepero, which you stole, _from me_!” The list of reasons why Baekhyun hates Park Chanyeol has rapidly expanded after he was personally acquainted with him. Take that Jongdae, he does have a solid basis for being an anti-fan now.

 

“Pepero’s Pepero,” Chanyeol shrugged as if implying that Pepero could unite the whole world. “I can finish the rest by myself, if you don’t want any.” Baekhyun begrudgingly reached over and took ahold of a few sticks before shifting his attention back onto the road. He spent money on this, as if he’s going to let Chanyeol devour a whole box by himself.  

 

♥

 

“Don’t you need to call the staff or something? Alert them that you didn’t get kidnapped by some saesangs, or like, died in a ditch?” Baekhyun didn’t want to engage in another conversation with the idol after he calmed down from the Peperos, but it was rather odd, Chanyeol made no attempts to reach his team, nor did he receive a single call. Wouldn’t the staff have a seizure by now over the fact that they’ve lost their main focus right before a fansign?  

 

Chanyeol flashed him a helpless look before confessing. “I may or may not have left my phone in the dressing room to charge. I don’t think I told anyone about my quick trip outside either since they were so preoccupied with the malfunctioning mics. It should be fine…Hopefully…”

 

This!? This was the person who was partnered up with Kyungsoo!? This absentmented, unreliable goofball who broke into someone’s car without considering the consequences!? Baekhyun thought Kyungsoo was a god before this whole fiasco but now, Baekhyun was placing him on a higher pedestal than ever. How did his bias manage to put up with this mess of a human being for four years without trying to strangle him!?

 

Stopping at another red light, Baekhyun scooped up his phone and gently tossed it to Chanyeol (if his phone broke, it would be a pain to redownload all those Kyungsoo photos and videos, plus the minor inconvenience that his contact list would’ve been lost). Building up a natural reflex to catch unannounced objects throughout concerts and the like, Chanyeol caught the phone without a hitch.

 

“It’s locked,” Chanyeol informed after pressing random buttons in hopes that something will happen.

 

“Nice observation, Sherlock Holmes,” he might’ve added sarcastic clapping too but he didn’t want to crash into something and die. Mocking Park Chanyeol was not worth his death. “You literally jacked my Pepero so I wouldn’t put it pass you to try and jack my phone either. I'm not telling you my password. Just use the emergency call option.” Honestly, did this man not have common sense at all?  

 

“For your information, I grew up watching Detective Conan,” Chanyeol voiced before dialing a number.

 

♥

 

After Chanyeol reassured the staff that he wasn’t abducted and being held for ransom, he returned Baekhyun’s phone. While he did wanted to explore the cellular device and unlock all its secrets (aka mobile games to pass the time), he couldn’t get past the security pin. So much for being unguarded. Looks like his new friend was properly secured...In the wrong places. If he couldn’t utilize his usual methods of passing time, maybe having a nice conversation would cease his boredom.

 

“Are you ever going to tell me your name?” he inquired, staring at the back of the raven haired driver. While Chanyeol met his fair share of fanboys, he didn’t quite remember seeing a face like that. If he did, he was certain there was absolutely no possible way he would forget it. Maybe he was new to the fandom? Unlikely, Chanyeol concluded when he saw the limited edition keychain strapped to the fanboy’s car keys, one that can only be obtain at their debut era fansigns. Maybe he wore a mask… He did recall spotting a couple of cute fanboys who hid their faces.

 

The silence that Chanyeol was met with caused him to grow restless. It was just a simple question. Just a name. This particular fanboy was a hard nut to crack. Usually, Chanyeol would chalk it up to shyness but the driver hadn’t seemed to have any problems expressing his thoughts, rather he was quite vocal. He did mention being a Kyungsoo stan… Was he a solo stan? Chanyeol didn’t mind if he preferred his friend more, everyone is entitled to having their preferences (even if said preferences included disliking him). However, he did feel a little disappointed that such an adorable fanboy was treating him so coldly.

 

He was hoping that they could become friends after this incident as well. One simply does not experience a straight-out-of-fanfiction cute meet and not keep in touch. Besides, this would be a funny story to tell in the future.

 

Chanyeol decided to try one final time, once more and he’ll stop if he couldn’t elicit an answer from the fanboy. “I understand the whole stranger danger thing and not giving away your name so easily but I feel like we’ve grown closer during these last-” he quickly glanced at the car’s digital clock, “-thirty minutes. Maybe it’d be polite to tell me your name since you know mine?” He received a quiet grunt as a sort of response. The red haired idol took this as a sign that the boy was slowly warming up to him. He just needed a little push.

 

“Please help me out here, I need a name. I can’t just refer to you as cute fanboy in my head forever.” It might’ve been a trick of the light but from where Chanyeol was sitting, he saw the fanboy’s ears transforming into a bright pink tint. How adorable _._

 

“Give me one good reason why I should tell you,” he sure was being stubborn. Stubborn, kinda like a tsundere.

 

“I do have to weave a whole backstory about us being relatives to fool my management team in order to grant you that chance of meeting Kyungsoo. I don’t mind telling them that you are a Park along with a ridiculous first name, but I thought you might be opposed to the whole sharing the same last name ordeal.”

 

“-Khyun,” he mumbled reluctantly. Looks like Chanyeol was successful with his provocations.  

 

“Hmm, can you say it a bit louder for those who are in the back?” he teased.

 

“Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun,” the fanboy, Baekhyun, stated in a clear voice. “Anything else you want to know about?” Oh, how nice of him to offer. And who was Chanyeol to not take full advantage of this unexpected but much welcomed opportunity.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who needs proper sleep when they can write a whole chapter dedicated to Chanbaek bantering? Hopefully their interaction was fun to read because I enjoyed writing this chapter, a lot. @Lily enjoy your Easter egg, funny how we were talking about DC earlier and I forgot I had a brief mention of it this chapter. A special thanks to whoever took their time to read this fic, I really appreciate it! Link to [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Autumnyuyu?lang=en) because I would love to meet more exols. See you soon for more Chanbaek bickering like an old, married couple.


	3. Step 3: Have him sneak you into his dressing room

 

The Kyungsoo-enthusiast does not need to know that Chanyeol’s favourite colour is black, nor that he is allergic to fur so he owns a hypoallergenic Portuguese Water Dog named Toben. Why does Baekhyun know these trivial facts? A certain invasive idol wouldn’t leave him alone, twisting and misinterpreting his sarcastic remark to make it sound like an open invitation to engage in a spontaneous game of Twenty Questions.

 

With Chanyeol’s persistence, he managed to coax a couple of answers from the anti-fan. Baekhyun figured it would be less troublesome to tell the idol he hates ~~Park Chanyeol~~  cucumbers rather than have him pester him for the rest of the car ride. While the chitchat did help ease the suffocating tension from earlier and reduced the boredom from aimlessly driving around with no destination in mind, Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel irked by the turn of events.

 

He did indeed still feel hatred towards Chanyeol for being in the same duo as Kyungsoo. Now that Baekhyun has become acquainted with him to some extent, he wouldn’t hesitate to label the idol as ‘infuriating’. However, Chanyeol also turned out to be much more down-to-earth and just flat out different from what he had envisioned. Originally, due to Chanyeol being the talker (Baekhyun still refused to acknowledge ‘rapper’ as a musical profession) he had assumed that he would be trying to maintain a bad boy image. Due to this nature, he would taint the angel that is Do Kyungsoo. This wasn’t the case at all. If anything, Chanyeol was the epitome of an oversized puppy, an energetic Golden Retriever to be precise.

 

Baekhyun felt uncomfortable with this new knowledge, with seeing a different side of the idol that he actively hates due to his own preconceptions about what Chanyeol was like. His world was ending and Chanyeol’s puppy dog eyes were the cause of the apocalypse. Somehow, he no longer hates Park Chanyeol’s entire existence now?

 

“Okay, but what if Kyungsoo personally begged you to eat cucumbers? Are you the type of fan who would drop him or the type that would eat it just because you want him to be happy and give you that wholesome heart-shaped smile?” Scratch that, Baekhyun _loathed_ Park Chanyeol’s existence with every fiber of his core.

 

“Can you please stop with the stupid cucumber questions!?” he roared. “I don’t think it’s wise to make the driver mad,” Baekhyun used a warning tone.

 

“I can’t believe you would threaten to murder your own cousin,” Chanyeol fainted shock. Cousin!? Psh, if Baekhyun had a cousin as vexatious as Chanyeol, no wonder he stopped going to family reunions.   

 

“You’re impossible,” Baekhyun said through gritted teeth.

 

“No, I’m Chanyeol.” Baekhyun was not amused unlike the idiot that was crackling in his backseat. “What? You don’t want to be a cousin? You could be one of my uncles, but it might be a little awkward considering we are around the same age…” he trailed off as if he was serious about telling his management team that Baekhyun was his uncle.

 

“No! I don’t want to be your uncle! Just-” he paused to consider his options, “-just make me your cousin,” Baekhyun gave in when he couldn’t think of anything better. He spared a glance at the rear-view mirror and saw a wide smile spread across the idol’s face indicating that he was happy about getting a fake cousin. Another reason why Byun Baekhyun hates Park Chanyeol: he feels thrilled because they are pretending to be cousins. That was possibly the weirdest part about Baekhyun’s day and he experienced an extremely bizarre day.

 

Just then, Baekhyun’s phone began vibrating like a hyper child on Christmas morning, blasting Kyungsoo’s godly vocals on full volume. Seeing as how Baekhyun was currently in the middle of driving and picking up a phone call would be suicidal, he swiftly chucked the phone at Chanyeol’s general direction and hoped for the best.

 

Baekhyun guessed the phone landed safely in the giant’s hands when the majestic ringtone ended. “Hello?” Chanyeol waited for the caller to relay the urgent message before replying with a brusque ‘okay’ and hanging up.

 

“My manager called,” he explained. “Time flies when we’re having fun, right?” Baekhyun didn’t even bother to object because he had no spare energy to argue with an idiot. Chanyeol got the message and continued on. “The fans are filing in for the fansign already so it should be relatively safe for us to sneak back to the venue.”

 

Baekhyun almost ran a red light in all his excitement.

 

♥

 

“Don’t forget your gift bag,” Chanyeol handed it to him after they were outside the car. He watched as the fanboy mumbled a quick ‘thanks’ under his breath before bristly walking ahead. Baekhyun continued to charge forward for three seconds before abruptly stopping to look back at Chanyeol with an unreadable expression on his face.

 

Chanyeol chuckled as he caught up to the Kyungsoo stan. “Do you need a guide?” he took pleasure in watching the shorter boy twitch his nose as his face distorts into an angry scowl.

 

“Sometimes, I wish there was a mute button that comes with you,” he looked him straight in the eyes. Chanyeol couldn’t help but give into the tugs at the sides of his lips. The idol likes that his new friend is so witty. Or at least how he thinks he’s witty.

 

“Remember that this voice of mine is the reason why you’ll be able to properly meet Kyungsoo, minus the herd of screaming fangirls. You’re welcome!” Baekhyun is misguided if he thinks he’s the sassiest one between the two of them. The boy standing before him just opened his mouth before closing it, repeating this five more times before he stayed silent.

 

As much as Chanyeol was willing to stand in the parking lot and wait for the fanboy to sort himself out, he had a fansign to attend and a promise to keep. Without warning, he grabbed ahold of Baekhyun’s hand and started power walking. As expected, the surprised boy just let himself be dragged and followed suit obediently.

 

They stopped in front of a door, an emergency exit well hidden from sight. He released the raven haired boy’s hand, reached inside his pant pockets and fished out a key. Chanyeol admitted that he might be absentminded sometimes, (as demonstrated by the whole accidental breaking into a stranger’s car incident) but he wasn’t a complete idiot.

 

The key easily slotted into the keyhole and with a twist, he turned the knob and pushed the door open. He stepped inside the building, holding the door wide open and gestured with his free hand for Baekhyun to do the same. Baekhyun just stared blankly at him for a few seconds, questioning if everything was just an elaborate scam. Chanyeol couldn’t bare to watch the awkward boy any longer, he yanked the boy inside before closing the door.

 

Now that they were inside, their next target should be finding the dressing room. Chanyeol seemed to have overestimated his sense of direction because he had no idea which path to take after arriving at the part of the hallway which diverged into three different halls. Luckily, the place was swarming with panicked staff members and it wasn’t long before one of them found Chanyeol and his company.

 

♥

 

“Where were you!?” he was met with an angry Junmyeon when he stepped inside the dressing room with Baekhyun in tow. Junmyeon’s gaze shifted to the shorter of the pair and his brows rose in confusion.

 

“I, er, I was being an idiot-”

 

“Yes! An complete idiot. For running off without telling any of us! I was this close to having a panic attack,” the manager pinched his fingers together to emphasize how urgent the situation was. “Are you demented!? Why would you walk out of here without a face mask and your phone?”

 

“It was just going to be a quick trip outside for some fresh air after that can of hairspray exploded in the room. A mask completely defeats the purpose!” Chanyeol argued. “Luckily, I was saved by my cousin,” he smoothly segued to introducing Baekhyun.

 

“Your cousin? You had a cousin that I didn’t know about?” Junmyeon asked in disbelief.

 

“Say hi to Baekhyun!” Chanyeol wrap an arm around Baekhyun and brought him forward. “He’s from my mother’s side of the family. I probably never mentioned it before since he went to study abroad and we lost contact for a while,” he lied without thinking of the possible repercussions. The fanboy appears to be relatively intelligent… Let’s just hope that he knows a foreign language or two if the worst scenario is realized.  

 

He squeezed the tiny pretend cousin in his arm as a cue to speak. The jittery boy seemed as if he’s about to faint. “Hi,” he managed to choke out in an awkwardly high pitched tone. “Oh god, I’m sorry, I just-”

 

“You don’t have to be so nervous,” Junmyeon’s maternal instincts kicked in and he subconsciously tried to end the panicked boy’s rambling. “I don’t bite,” he joked. “I will, however, eviscerate your cousin for being such a brainless idiot. You have my condolences.”

 

“Go ahead,” Baekhyun accidentally spoke aloud. He clasped a hand to his mouth and looked petrified. Thankfully, after years of interviews or just talking in front of a crowd unscripted, Chanyeol knew exactly how to handle the identity jeopardizing slip-up.

 

“Aww, Baekkie, I thought you forgave me for almost unintentionally killing your dog years ago. I was young and foolish, and didn’t know that chocolate is poisonous to dogs until yours was near death. You can’t hold a grudge forever,” Chanyeol whined convincingly as he smothered the smaller boy. He felt like a koala as he latched onto the fanboy’s back and wrapped his arms around his lanky body with the latter ceaselessly squirming in his hold.

 

Chanyeol determined that the skinship successfully sealed the deal on their faked relationship. He let himself be pried off the flushed fanboy, looking at Junmyeon dead in the eyes, daring him to try and find any faults with the lie. His eyes never connected with his manager however, as the elder seemed far more occupied with studying his fake cousin.

 

“Attempted puppycide is a heinous crime,” Baekhyun informed Chanyeol after he sorted himself out.

 

Before anyone could formulate a response to that statement, the sound of knuckles rapping against the door filled the entire room. Junmyeon swung opened the door to reveal a panting staff member, bent over, hands on his knees to steady himself.

 

“Mr. Zhang wants-- starts in five-- wants Mr. Park…” he wasn’t making a lot of sense with the few words he threw out in between every rugged breath. Somehow, Junmyeon understood the incoherent words. He thanked the exhausted worker then strode towards Chanyeol to drag him out the door.

 

Chanyeol spared a glance at Baekhyun, intending to keep his promise. The poor boy was a fish out of water in the unfamiliar territory, so lost and confused. Judging from the previous interactions between the two, Chanyeol figured the fanboy would rather break his own arms and fight a pack of wild wolves alone than accept help from Chanyeol. Hence, he thought the visible begging in the boy’s eyes were due to his imagination trying to twist the situation, building up a damsel in distress for him to heroically rescue.

 

That wasn’t the case, not a trick of the mind. Logically analyzing this situation, the outsider is Baekhyun, the one who has the most to lose. Would Chanyeol be getting into trouble for dragging a random stranger into this mess? Probably. He’d at most be monitored even more carefully than before, nothing too serious though. On the other hand, would Baekhyun’s existence at future fansigns or concerts or any events be extremely uncomfortable if anyone found out he was posing as Chanyeol’s fake cousin? Without a doubt. His management might jump to the wrong conclusions, assume blackmailing was responsible for a fan being in the duo’s dressing room and not just Chanyeol wanting to repay his debt for wasting a stranger’s gas money in order to get away from a pack of overzealous fangirls.

 

Chanyeol didn’t even think twice about disobeying his manager, brute forcing his way out of the older’s tight grip. When Junmyeon looked back in confusion, mingled with a boatload of irritation and tiredness, the crimson haired idol simply tilted his head in Baekhyun’s direction. “Is Baekhyun coming with us?”

 

Junmyeon’s scrutinizing look was the universally known gaze of ‘are you dumb?’ He massaged his scalp with his fingers and inhaled a deep breath. “Baekhyun accompanying you to the fansign would mean introducing your cousin to your entire fanclub. Unless you want to expose your cousin to the harsh media and overly invasive personnel, I highly suggest that your cousin remain in the dressing room where it’s safe and secure.” Well, that wasn’t a suggestion at all. His manager just issued a command, a logical one that should be followed.    

 

It shouldn’t be a problem then. They did it. They got permission for Baekhyun to stay. Maybe Chanyeol should venture deeper into an acting career if he so easily convinced his usually worry-wart manager to let a stranger stay in their dressing room.

 

“I’ll be back,” he pledged as he spared one final look at the fanboy. Chanyeol could’ve sworn he heard the boy mutter “bring Kyungsoo with you,” before he was out of the earshot with his manager leading the way. He didn’t allow his mind dwell on that thought for longer than necessary. After all, he was headed towards a room with hundreds of eager fans and the one waiting in his dressing room shouldn’t be a priority.  

 

♥

 

  

The staff member who rushed in moments ago returned a few minutes after the idol and his manager left. He handed Baekhyun a pass under the orders of Junmyeon and exited the room once the guest reassured him that he didn’t need anything. A minute later, the stylists returned from dolling up the duo to stash away their tools. With warm smiles, they welcomed him after he explained he was visiting his (pretend) cousin. They scurried around for a little while before inviting him to join them for some refreshments in the room a couple of doors over. Baekhyun politely declined, feeling like an intruder who didn’t belong. After all, he wasn’t really Chanyeol’s cousin. Soon, he was left to his own devices in the dressing room hosting his at time favourite singer/actor/most talented person in the whole wide world.

Baekhyun was a fanboy to the core but he wasn’t a saesang. His immediate reaction when left alone in the room wasn’t to scavenge for Kyungsoo’s personal items to pocket as  souvenirs nor was he trying to plant hidden cameras or bugs. He merely scanned the dressing room and absorbed his surroundings, not touching anything in the room when he knew he wasn’t entitled to.

 

The room served its purpose with the huge mirrors and radiant lighting. Aside from the spare outfits on coat hangers dangling from the rack near a corner of the room and the palettes of makeup with accompanying brushes scattered on the tables, everything else was neatly tucked into luggage bags. There a couch off to the side of room, pushed against a wall.

 

His legs were feeling rather sore from standing around so he hesitantly wandered to the seats. Hovering above the cushions, he wondered if he would get in trouble. He sat down once he remembered that he was the only one in the room. No one was around to scold him and he definitely wasn’t going to punish himself for sitting down. Setting the gift bag beside him, he whipped out his phone to pass the next couple of hours.

 

♥

 

Why did his whole body feel so stiff, he wondered while his vision was filled with nothing but pitch black. Baekhyun was vaguely aware that his eyes were closed and picked up hushed words uttered with a low tone.

 

“Should I wake him?” No, he answered without actually calling out.

 

He could feel someone getting closer and closer, he heard the footsteps end abruptly, stopping right before him. His eyes remained shut, wanting to sleep for a few minutes before Jongdae slaps him awake. Baekhyun cursed the fact that his dream didn’t even let him meet Kyungsoo, the sole reason why he agreed to riding in a car for an hour with a man that he detested. Perhaps his subconscious was try to inform him of his newfound identity as a bitter solo stan. Thanks, subconscious. He hates it.  

 

He felt a hand on his shoulder, emitting a smoothing heat as it delivered a gentle shove.

 

“Baekhyun?” a deep voice followed the touch.

 

Wait a minute, Jongdae wouldn’t be this delicate with him. This morning call was lacking the usual screaming that pierced his ears and the stinging cheeks. The voice was different too, sounding suspiciously like…

 

Baekhyun snapped his eyes opened and he was met with the face of Park Chanyeol.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ASDFGHJKLDKAJAHJAKSKAKLALA EXO IS COMING BACK I'M SCREAMING!!!!!! YIXINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! In the excitement of the new teaser I almost forgot to update whoops! @Lily have fun dying at piano class with no WiFi. Shameless insert of [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Autumnyuyu?lang=en) because I would love to talk to fellow exols. Thanks for reading!!!!!


	4. Step 4: Have him pinch your cheeks

“You know, you really didn’t have to shriek so loudly,” Chanyeol was rubbing his ringing ears. The blissfully sleeping boy was now awake and distressed.

 

Baekhyun gave him a blank stare. “I do if the first thing I wake up to is that face of yours.” Ouch. That one stung a little.

 

“You’ll regret that statement one day,” he guaranteed, taking satisfaction in the light blush spreading across his fake cousin’s face. He watched as Baekhyun got up from the couch and began stretching. The boy stopped after five shoulder rolls and gave him a panicked look.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the fansign?” Oh. He must not be aware, Chanyeol mused.

 

“The fan sign that ended ten minutes ago?” Baekhyun’s brows were raised in confusion. He looked at Chanyeol as if he was speaking in another language. “Why else would we come back to the dressing room?”  

 

“‘We’?” the fanboy inquired.

 

Chanyeol pointed to where his partner was rested—a stool nearby one of the makeup stations—sipping a cup of Honey Lemon Tea. “‘We’,” he confirmed.

 

Seeing the boy’s eyes follow the direction of his index finger and widening once it reached its destination, his smirk was very apparent. For some strange reason, Chanyeol took pleasure in witnessing the Kyungsoo fan tremble like a newborn fawn upon realizing that he was in the same room as his idol. Sigh, he would be so much cuter if this exact reaction was for Chanyeol’s sake.   

 

Nevertheless, the rapper had a promise to keep. Although, fulfilling that oath might give the fanboy a heart attack judging by how the raven haired man was already breathless and shaking.

 

“Kyungsoo! Can you come here for a second?” His partner wordlessly set down his tea before approaching them.  

 

The ebony haired idol was beside him, staring at the fanboy with curiosity but didn’t say anything. Baekhyun wasn’t initiating the introduction either, his mouth was agape and his chocolate brown eyes unblinking as he continued to stare at his idol as if he was trying to permanently engrave the image of Kyungsoo down to the precise location of individual strands of hair into his memory. Chanyeol was both impressed and a little weirded out by the fanboy’s dedication.

 

“So…” Chanyeol interrupted when he realized nothing was going to happen without a catalyst. “This is my cousin who heroically whisked me off into the sunset in his shiny silver car,” he gestured to his pretend cousin. “Dear cousin of mine, as you may already know, this is my partner in crime,” he received a quick jab from the other idol thanks to his inaccurate description.

 

“Don’t expect me to bail you out of jail,” Kyungsoo remarked before holding out his right hand towards Baekhyun. “Do Kyungsoo, the company made us partners five years ago and I was stuck with him ever since,” his words were harsh but Chanyeol could always detect the sarcasm behind them.

 

Chanyeol took a step away from them, trying to blend into the background while watching the scene unfold before him. His eyes remained glued to the fanboy. Maybe the moody boy will finally smile. Hopefully, if things go well, Chanyeol will receive a ‘thank you’ by the end of the evening.  

 

♥

 

Baekhyun would’ve fainted a minute ago if he wasn’t too busy trying to burn every detail of Kyungsoo’s face into his mind. Oh god, was he staring too much? He couldn’t help it, his erratic heart rate, sweaty palms, frantic breathing. None of those actions were responding to his brain’s commands any longer, not with Kyungsoo, his idol’s actual physical body and not just some cardboard standee, just metres away from him. God is real and his name is Do Kyungsoo.

 

Hardly being able to function with Kyungsoo’s presence distracting him, he barely registered the fact that the person he spent tens of thousands of dollars supporting reached his hand out for Baekhyun to shake. He was offering a handshake to him...Kyungsoo was waiting for Baekhyun to shake his hand...

 

Awakening from his trance and comprehending just how impolite he was being, Baekhyun wanted to stab himself with a million needles because how dare he be so rude to his idol! Calm down. Think over your words before they escape your mouth hole, he coached himself. Just cooly state your name and not give the idol any reason to suspect that you have a secret shrine dedicated to him (Jongdae let him keep it after two weeks worth of arguments and a whole lot of caffeinated drinks, maybe with some beer involved on his roommate’s part).

 

“Hyun Baekbyun,” he returned the handshake with a nervous smile. Okay, those were words, it was progress… He done goof! What kind of an idiot literally messes up their own name? It was just two words. Two! Yet somehow, he fucked up. And Kyungsoo, like the angel that he is, bless his soul for all of eternity, didn’t comment on his questionable name.

 

“What he meant was,” the annoying voice cut in, “his name is Byun Baekhyun.” Baekhyun wanted Chanyeol’s existence to be erased. He just wanted to make a fool of himself in front of his ultimate bias in peace. Without Chanyeol. Not within a metre’s radius of them. Preferably not at all.

 

“Nice to meet you, Baekhyun.” All of a sudden, Park Chanyeol didn’t matter. Park Chanyeol who? Baekhyun only knew Do Kyungsoo, someone who was always out of reach (literally, thanks to the tables functioning as a barricade during fansigns) until now.   

 

The fanboy was well aware that he should respond, social etiquette and all, but the words weren’t coming out. What does he even say to the inspiration that’s driving his life? Hello, I know all your songs by heart to the point where I can orchestrate a five hour piano concert filled with medleys and mashups? Were fanmeets always this difficult? Baekhyun felt a lot more confident wearing a mask and only being allotted a minute’s worth of interaction time so he doesn’t overcomplicate anything (plus his questions were all written on a sticky note).

 

A compliment. That’s what he should be aiming for. Maybe something about his humble personality? His emotional portrayal of a terminally ill patient in his latest movie? Anything would be fine at this point. “I like your mouth.” Anything but that.

 

“Thanks?” Kyungsoo presented him with a confused look. Why did he still have to look like a goddamn model while being weirded out by Baekhyun? Life was so unfair.

 

“That was not what I was expecting,” Chanyeol piped up. Shut up, Chanyeol.

 

“Voice! I like your voice!” Baekhyun corrected with extravagant hand gestures. “Your mouth makes voice so I like your mouth too! Never stop making voice because you sound amazing. I need to stop making voice because I’m an idiot.” Not even his extensive lexicon could turn the tides now. All hope was lost.

 

He must be some sort of masochist because he couldn’t resist trying to sneak a glance at his idol despite the guaranteed look of disgust that’ll surely be present. To his surprise, a small smile nested itself on the ebony haired vocalist’s face, adding a thousand more years to Baekhyun’s lifespan.

 

“You have a cute cousin, Chanyeol.” Did Kyungsoo just call him cute?

 

“I know! Just look at those mochi cheeks,” Chanyeol stated as he was fondling Baekhyun’s face. Why was Chanyeol touching his face? He did not sign up for this.

 

Chanyeol’s hands were shoved aside as Baekhyun rubbed soothing circles on the parts of his cheeks that got pinched. “I’m filing a restraining order,” he deadpanned.

 

“But I’m your cousin,” Chanyeol whined.

 

“Not if you touch my face one more time,” the ban was clearly imposed. Fake cousin or not, Park Chanyeol does not have unrestricted access to touching his face. Maybe he should file a legitimate restraining order, maybe then the idol would stay far away from his car. No, a restraining order means no Kyungsoo either since they’ll likely continue as a musical duo for years to come.

 

Chanyeol was silent for a moment. He appeared to be deep in thought. Good. Less idiotic things will be uttered.

 

“I bet you’d let Kyungsoo touch your face.”

 

Baekhyun was mortified. Did Chanyeol just expose him in front of Kyungsoo, the sole person whose opinion he actually cared about? Things can’t get any worse.

 

“Kyungsoo! Did you know that Baekkie is a huge fanboy of yours?” Why did the universe insist on proving him wrong? The addition of a cutesy nickname was just downright cruel.

 

The embarrassed boy racked his brain for a plausible excuse to down play the accusation. “I, uh, I w-watched some of your performances, supporting family and all, and ah, I l-love your singing style.” Baekhyun wished that statement contained less hesitance and pauses but he managed to somewhat convey his cover story.

 

From the corner of his eyes, he spied a smug look plastered on Chanyeol’s face. He’s obviously amused by the chaos brought about by his blunt revelation.

 

“I feel honoured hearing one of Chanyeol’s relatives say that,” his attention was snatched away from the crimson haired man. “I wouldn’t have made it this far without your cousin,” Kyungsoo confessed.

 

Baekhyun wanted to argue, so he did. “Your voice could’ve paved your way anywhere! Honestly, it’s the most gorgeous thing I have ever had the pleasure of listening to. Even now, I am resisting the urge to record our conversation. That s-sounded creepy. I s-swear I’m not usually this creepy.”

 

“No worries, I like your enthusiasm. Thank you for listening to our songs.” An angel’s heart-shaped smile was activated. “Chanyeol, you should’ve invited your cousin to our concerts and fanmeets sooner. Why did you take four years to introduce him if he was a fan?” Kyungsoo gave Chanyeol a weird look.

 

“Oh, right.” The tall giant was unprepared for the sudden question. “Well…” Chanyeol trailed off.

 

Well? Wasn’t he going to repeat that stupid story about having a cousin who was studying abroad? Why doesn’t he just say it? The darting eyes answered Baekhyun’s queries. Of course. Of course Park Chanyeol would forget a momentarily lie he told a couple of hours ago with no regards for the consequences.

 

Seems like Baekhyun will just have to take charge himself. Contemplating which other language he was more fluent in, he was ready to commit to the crime of lying to his hero. “I was studying abroad in China until recently,” he didn’t stutter nor pause this time. Why was it easier for him to lie to his idol?

 

“Ah, no wonder why you never came up in conversations. Chanyeol’s quite the baby, constantly yapping on and on about his family to anyone who would listen. Him never mentioning a cousin seemed unusual,” Kyungsoo analyzed.

 

Chanyeol began to turn a little red after his partner’s explanation. At this point, Baekhyun guessed he probably wanted a topic change. He wasn’t going to incite anything though, pay back for the idol exposing Baekhyun’s fanboy identity. Let him suffer.

 

A grin tugged at the edges of the giant's lips as his gaze stopped somewhere behind Baekhyun, locking onto his target. Damn him and his craftiness, Baekhyun thought, watching as Chanyeol beelined for the gift bag laying forgotten on the couch. Nothing about this was fair. That was the gift bag that he prepared!

 

Baekhyun acted on instincts, his body on autopilot as he seized the bag from Chanyeol. Before he could back out of his intended course of action, he marched over to Kyungsoo. Bending his body in a ninety degree bow, he held out the lootbag, an offering for his god. “You are incredible for managing to survive five years without murdering my cousin, please accept this,” he chickened out from his original dialogue. Thank god, this version was a better alternative to ‘I would sell my soul for you’ anyways.

 

“All of this? For me?” Kyungsoo’s eyes flared with hesitance as his hands gripped the bag of snacks. “These are all my favourites,” he said in astonishment. Baekhyun wanted to squish the ball of pure softness that is Do Kyungsoo. The vocalist seemed genuinely touched by the gift, his lips morphing into the usual heart-shape. Baekhyun used all his power to resist the urge to whip out his phone and snap a quick picture to commemorate this glorious moment.

 

Unfortunately, all the beautiful things in life possessed a finite lifespan. Flowers bloom, living out their most beautiful days before withering away. Autumn leaves turn into vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows, a splatter of colours before tumbling onto the ground, buried and forgotten under blankets of snow. Similarly, even the greatest day of one’s life shall come to an end.

 

Junmyeon strode into the room with a tired expression donning his face. The amount of stress shouldered by the young man in his mid-twenties was evident by the dark semi-circles encircling the area beneath his eyes. He was tapping away on his phone, deeply concentrated on the task at hand.

 

Without glancing up from his phone, Junmyeon spoke. “The van is waiting outside. Grab your things and let’s head back to the studio for the training session.” When the manager finally parted from his phone, he noticed Baekhyun’s presence among the others. Baekhyun gulped, well aware of the fact that he didn’t belong.

 

Junmyeon cleared his throat. His lips began to move but no sounds were escaping his mouth, he was in a clear turmoil about what to say. Baekhyun knew the duo’s day was still not over, idols sacrificed numerous of hours of sleep training in order to show their fans the best sides of themselves. The fanboy understood that he was a hindrance, he was stalling the idols and delaying them from their well deserved rest.

 

“Mr. Kim,” Baekhyun bowed in the manager’s direction. “Thank you for always taking such great care of my cousin.” Junmyeon nodded to acknowledge his words. “I’m sorry for any inconvenience that I’ve caused and really I shouldn’t be causing even more. Have a pleasant evening everyone,” Baekhyun excused himself, making his way to the door.

 

Footsteps were pattering behind him, someone was following him. “I’ll lead him out,” Chanyeol alerted his team. The fanboy felt a tap on his shoulder a few seconds later. “Best cousin in the world, am I right?” the idol presented Baekhyun with his missing phone. Snatching the object from his grip and pocketing it, Baekhyun picked up the pace and power-walked to put some distance between the two.

 

“Make sure to meet us at the front entrance,” Junmyeon reminded.

 

Baekhyun felt a breeze to the right of him as the giant sprinted to catch up. They made their way down the corridor, side by side. Imagine how wonderful this situation would be if the person next to him was the right idol.

  


♥

 

The chilly evening air immediately assaulted the exposed areas of his skin. Their journey to the hidden emergency exit was made in silence. Chanyeol, presumably too drained from interacting with hundreds of people, kept his mouth shut as he showed Baekhyun the way. Baekhyun, having no interest in the idol in the first place, basked in the lack of noise and obediently trailed after the Golden Retriever like a lost puppy.

 

Baekhyun let his tense shoulders shag once he was outside of the building. The best moment of his life was over. He walked out the door and ended everything. How will he return to his normal routines after experiencing something so extraordinary? He craved it, craved being able to speak semi-normally to Kyungsoo without the status of ‘idol’ and ‘fanboy’. There will always be other fanmeets and concerts but this one of the rare opportunities where Baekhyun can discard his mask. Actually, this was the _only_ time, his newfound identity of Chanyeol’s pretend cousin guaranteed it.    

 

Once Baekhyun exited the building, he assumed Chanyeol was rushing to be rid of him as well. His heart jolted a little when an unexpected touch on his shoulder radiated warmth.

 

“I kept my promise, didn’t I?” a whisper almost lost to the zooming cars and drowned out by various other city sounds.  Baekhyun turned around, uncertain about what he was anticipating.

 

The sight he saw was more than what he had bargained for. Chanyeol, neck nuzzled into his sweater and hands tucked into jean pockets for warmth, smiled genuinely unlike the teasing ones Baekhyun had seen before. His throat tightened.

 

“Yes, you did.”

 

“I lied to my whole team for you, even my own _partner_ ,” he stressed.

 

“Yes, you did,” Baekhyun repeated. 

 

What was the point that the giant was trying to make? Baekhyun’s instincts were shouting at him to run to his car and drive back to the normality that was his shared apartment. He couldn't. Not with his feet nailed to the concrete, the direct eye contact with the giant pinning him in place.

 

“Did I convert you from a solo stan to loving us both now?”

 

“Yes, you-” he caught himself before the statement was completed.

 

Boisterous laughter aroused from Baekhyun’s little slip-up. The giant was doubled over, wheezing as his hands clutched his sides. “Oldest trick in the book,” he proudly declared as his laughter subdued.

 

“I hate you,” Baekhyun glared, his cheeks still tinted a light shade of pink.

 

“No you don’t,” Chanyeol insisted as his hands clasped both sides of Baekhyun’s face. He squished the shorter boy’s cheeks together, making the boy look like some sort of unattractive fish. Cue another round of hearty chuckling. Chanyeol pinched and stretched the raven haired man’s cheeks until Baekhyun smacked his hands away.

 

Baekhyun took a step back to signify that Chanyeol was overstepping his bounds. The crimson haired idol received the message, retreating to the door but never breaking eye contact.

 

“See you at our next event, Mochi-cheeks!” With a final smile, Chanyeol disappeared behind the closed door.   

 

After that, Baekhyun vaguely remember trudging to his car with throbbing cheeks and a conflicted mind. He wanted to kick himself the moment he was nested in his seat. Caught up in the excitement of meeting his inspiration, he forgot to ask for a selca with Kyungsoo. He failed as a Kyungsoo fansite.

  


♥

  


“So, who was that fake cousin of yours?” Junmyeon interrogated when they were halfway to the studio. Chanyeol almost spat out his coffee.

 

He slotted the beverage into one of the cupholders, preserving his much needed caffeinated drink for later into the evening. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” that sounded like the most suspicious thing Chanyeol had ever said. Acting skills, why abandon him during his most desperate times?

 

“You honestly expect me to believe that you have a cousin who was studying abroad until recently?” Chanyeol gulped. Of course Junmyeon would be able to see through his attempted deception. He wasn’t Bright’s manager for nothing. Just this once, Chanyeol wished his friend was more gullible.

 

“If you had a cousin living abroad who was our fan, you would’ve bought us plane tickets to visit him or begged to schedule an event near him,” Kyungsoo didn’t look away from his movie.

 

Fair point. Chanyeol severely underestimated how frequent his family came up in conversations. “By any chance, did you two grow up watching Detective Conan?”  

 

“There is always only one truth,” the two stated in sync.

 

“I’m not even mad,” Chanyeol admitted. He took a deep breath and analyzed his options. One: lie. That idea was scrapped once Detective Conan was brought into the equation (who knew so much can be learned from a series that’s predominantly centered around homicide). Two: refuse to say anything. Okay, that option wasn’t an option at all since keeping secrets from his management team could potentially result in a contract breach and endanger his career. Three: tell the truth. At this point, they couldn’t go back in time; there was no longer any rationale for lying about a fake cousin.

 

Chanyeol muttered a quick prayer before letting the words tumble out of his mouth. “He was a fan who came for the fansign but I ended up hitching a ride from him. In the spur of the moment, I promised to sneak him into the dressing room.”

 

“He tried to kidnap you then blackmailed you?” Junmyeon’s voice was filled with concern. Ladies and gentlemen, here is a fine example of how his manager always connected the dots in the wrongest ways and jumped to worst possible conclusions.

 

“No! No kidnapping was involved, nor blackmail. I was the one who broke into his car to get away from the fans.”

 

Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, his phone a blacken screen when the movie he was watching was momentarily halted. “You wandered into a stranger’s car. Chanyeol, you constantly set new records for stupidity. What if it was a saesang?”

 

“But it wasn’t!” he argued back. “Baekhyun was an adorable fanboy who just wanted to meet his idol. Besides, he was a solo Kyungsoo stan who wanted to shove me out of a moving car. He seemed ticked off that my presence threw a wrench in his fansign plans so I bargained. I’d introduce him to Kyungsoo if he refrained from kicking me out of his car.”

 

Understanding flickered in Kyungsoo’s eyes. He reached for the bag of miscellaneous snacks sitting on the floor of the van. “That would explain the bag of my favourite snacks. This is everything I’ve ever mentioned liking, with the exception of Chocolate Pepero,” Kyungsoo’s face sported a tiny grin.

 

Chanyeol felt a little guilty about his looting now. “I may have stolen a box of Pepero while I was in the car.” Kyungsoo gave him a stare. “What? I offered him some, I’m not a complete monster.”

 

“Junmyeon-hyung, do you still have the number from when Chanyeol called from the fan’s phone? I feel the need to give him a personal one hour fanmeet to compensate for the idiotic actions of my partner.” Junmyeon sighed.

 

“As much as I approve of that plan, I don’t think the company can allow that.” At the manager’s statement, everyone fell silent.

 

With nothing but the sound of a recent pop song blasting from the radio, Chanyeol reflected on today. Wait a minute. “If you knew Baekhyun wasn’t actually my cousin, why wasn’t he hoisted out of the building or something?”

 

“We don’t hoist people out of the buildings, that’s so extra. We would politely ask him to leave or kindly escort any intruders out of the building. Unless they are saesangs...Then we would get people to hoist them,” Junmyeon clarified.

 

Okay, not the answer that he wanted but an answer nonetheless. Perhaps the phrasing was the problem. “I mean, if you knew we were lying, why did you allow Baekhyun to stay?”

 

“He was cute and I have a weakness. Forgive your hyung for prioritizing a nervous shaking Beagle over the safety of my talents.” Junmyeon pleaded without a hint of remorse in his tone. “Plus, I trust you enough to not suspect that you would bring someone dangerous. I assumed he was a friend of yours and you thought it’d be easier to sneak him in if the whole elaborate lie about having a fake cousin worked. Never occurred to me that you would drag along a random stranger. Maybe I should reconsider my faith in you.”

 

“I think any faith in Chanyeol is misguided,” Kyungsoo helpfully chimed in.

 

“Just shut up and eat your snacks.” Chanyeol reached for his lukewarm coffee as he stared wistfully out the window. When will his friends’ faith in him return from the war?  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been like two days and I'm still not over the new album please every song is so good, I think about it 24/7. I LOVE EXO SO MUCH I WOULD SELL MY SOUL FOR THEM AHDJSKAKALAA. Can they stop being so perfect it's so unfair and illegal to be this flawless. Anyways, enjoy the update while I loop the album and taking breaks in between to cry about literally every single song. Thanks for reading, [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Autumnyuyu?lang=en) if anyone wants to be friends. @Lily baby girl achimeul seollege haneun morning call do your work since I did mine.


	5. Step 5: Have him involve you in a nationally known dating scandal

Not even waking up to the sound of Do Kyungsoo calling him an angel was enough to give him the much needed motivation to get out of bed. In hindsight, Baekhyun probably should’ve predicted that setting his wake up call to his favourite idol in all of existence would have been a mistake. Why would he deliberately cease the Lorelei’s song when he can just lay in bed all day recalling every single detail about last night. 

 

Last night was magical: Kyungsoo’s heartwarming smile, Kyungsoo’s sincere gratitude upon receiving the gift bag, Kyungsoo’s velvet voice calling him cute, Chanyeol’s long slender fingers probing his cheeks...Wait. No! Why was his brain involuntarily replaying memories of the annoyance from last night? 

 

Baekhyun started his morning routine by mentally cursing Park Chanyeol’s existence. He could’ve been cozied up in bed and daydreaming about someday trading friendship bracelets with Kyungsoo, but _ nooooo _ . Chanyeol’s presence just had to end his fantasies abruptly and encourage him to find better ways to occupy himself rather than wallow in bed all day long (the most frequently fantasized scenario any sane university student envisioned from time to time). 

 

He forced himself to splash some water on his face and brushed his teeth. The aftermath of skipping dinner was starting to kick in, intolerable hunger commanding him to head to the kitchen as his next destination. They probably had some kimchi laying around somewhere, maybe he could fix up some kimchi fried rice. The growling from his stomach told him otherwise, its beast-like cries howled in protest at the mere suggestion of waiting any longer. 

 

Luckily, Baekhyun remembered that he and his roommate stocked up on some bakery buns a couple of days ago. Jongdae always told him to buy food in bulks, bless him and his constant nagging. Skimming through the pile, he was satisfied when he found melon bread buried underneath the excess red bean buns. 

 

Pulling the melon bread out of its wrapper and holding it in between his teeth, he used one hand to grab a cup and the other to open the refrigerator. Grabbing the bottle of milk, he proceeded to draining the bottle of its contents until his cup was a few centimetres away from overflowing. Baekhyun returned the milk bottle to its proper place before partaking his simple breakfast. 

 

When he finished devouring his bread and chugging down his milk, he cleaned his cup and stored it away. He quickly glanced at the green numbers neatly displayed on his microwave. 8:15. Good, he still had forty five minutes before his first lecture. 

 

Baekhyun peeled off his pyjamas, replacing his sleepwear with a pair of black ripped jeans and a gray crewneck. He made a mental note to switch out his summer wardrobe for fall and winter fashion, the temperature was getting colder and chiller each day. 

 

He was in his car at 8:30. Mornings honestly weren’t that bad when he doesn’t have a sleep deprived friend begging for an Espresso when being late to class was looming threat. Jongdae’s hitchhiking presence would not be missed, not today anyways. 

 

His lecture hall was noticeably livelier than normal, a few girls were eyeing him as he climbed past their level. That was...Odd. They’ve been in the same courses for more than a year by now, why the sudden burst of attention? He didn’t have time to ponder the subject any further when their professor stauntered into the classroom carrying a huge stack of papers. Gossip took a backseat as his academics claimed shotgun. 

  
  


♥

  
  


Baekhyun’s phone had been silent all day. While he wasn’t the most social person, he was popular enough to receive a couple of messages or phone calls daily, the lack of thereof set off warning alarms in his head. His intuition predicted a storm in the nearby future, his intuition was always correct. 

 

The raven haired music major stayed behind in the nearly deserted lecture hall to check his phone. Due to skipping lunch and spending the time between his lectures to power through his assignments in the library, his phone was abandoned in favour of his laptop. No wonder he wasn’t getting any notifications, his phone was out of batteries.  

 

Phone in his hands and his plugged-in power bank in his pocket, Baekhyun navigated around campus using the power of peripheral vision. He didn’t make much progress with walking once his phone finished the startup sequence. 

 

Even without unlocking his phone to check, the lock screen flaunted his overwhelming amount of missed calls and texts. _ 246 missed calls and 1,299 new text messages. _ He’s social, but not to that extent. What even happened? 

 

Baekhyun felt the vibration before the music came on. His fingers, startled by the sudden movement, almost dropped his phone and its life support. Frantically, he tried to stop his hands from shaking while sliding the green circle to accept the call.

 

“Hello?” his voice wavered as he held the phone to his ear. He ignored the power bank that rammed into his neck along with the momentum. 

 

There were rustling noises from the other side of the call, a quick beep before the caller spoke. “Is this Byun Baekhyun that I’m speaking to?” 

 

“Yes,” he answered before his mind processed what was happening. An unknown number calling to confirming his identity? Everything about this spells out a scam. Scammers now knew his personal number and he was going to get spammed even more. Can’t wait until they hit him up with sales and advertisement for products he’ll never use. 

 

“Great! I’m from KP News and we’ve been dying to know, what’s your relationship status with Park Chanyeol?” His stomach lurched and he hung up. That did not sound like the spam call that he was expecting. They want to know about his relationship status with Park Chanyeol? The _ non-existent _ relationship status with Park Chanyeol?  

 

A full minute didn’t even pass, his phone was ringing once again. This time, they asked if he was a fling, a boy who had his heartbroken after a magical night with Park Chanyeol. He felt sick. His head was spinning round and round with panic and confusion. 

 

The next couple of calls weren’t any better either. Was he Park Chanyeol’s new boy toy? Did they fall in love at first sight? How long had they been dating and how serious was their relationship? Lies, lies and more lies. He couldn’t take the insufferable interrogation anymore.  

 

“Stop calling me!” Baekhyun screamed the next time he answered his phone, unbothered by the weird stares he received from bypassers. University students undoubtedly faced more chaotic situations before, they can handle someone having a mental breakdown in the middle of campus.  

 

“Breathe,” the deep voice on the other side of the line coaxed. “Breathe and listen closely, Mochi-cheeks.” 

 

His heart skipped a beat at the ridiculous nickname. Why was  _ he _ calling? 

 

“Hello, Baekhyun?” the voice changed. “This is Junmyeon, Chanyeol’s manager. The situation right now is rather troublesome but we are trying to patch things up.” 

 

“What-” 

 

Baekhyun was interrupted before his question was spoken into existence. “Please discreetly go to the cafe near your university, there will be a staff member there to assist and guide you safely to the company. We are aware this must be a confusing and stressful time for you but there’s a lot at stake so please just trust us. Any questions will be answered in person, please convene as soon as possible!” 

 

The sound of periodic beeping was the lullaby luring Baekhyun into a spiral of anxiety. A call from the actual company that manages Bright? Over the course of a single phone call, the severity of the situation escalated from an elaborate scheme pulled off by his friends to give him a heart attack to him literally being caught in a dating scandal with Park Chanyeol, the idol he hated until yesterday (when he stopped hating him for a brief moment before proceeding to sharing the same sentiments as before). 

 

What should he do? Does anybody have a map to help him navigate through this surreal mess of a maze? He needed a clue, desperately needed a clue. 

 

Baekhyun wasn’t aware that he was mindlessly pacing around until he bumped into someone. He murmured a quick apologize as the student continued walking as if nothing happened. Little did the student know, a meaningless run-in while making coffee deliveries would soon impact someone’s entire life. 

 

Coffee. The person he bumped into was holding a tray of coffee orders from the cafe near the campus. Cafe.  _ Universe.  _ Junmyeon instructed him to go to Universe. He couldn’t exactly refute orders during this chaotic time, especially if those orders will lead him to acquiring answers. 

  
  


♥

  
  


The paranoid raven haired student wasted a minute formulating plans to get past the cafe doors without drawing unwanted attention to himself via the welcoming bells. The common sense part of his brain informed him that he would attract even more attention to himself by stalling at the entrance of a relatively well frequented cafe. Plus, he was a regular due to Minseok giving him a five percent discount (which he technically wasn’t supposed to do but the owner of the cafe respected Minseok’s coffee brewing abilities enough to let the friendship discount slide), his presence at the cafe wouldn’t draw suspicion. Baekhyun didn’t commit any crimes, he shouldn’t have to sneak around like this. Everything about this situation was all Park Chanyeol’s fault. 

 

The familiar chimes of the bells greeted him, he choked down the feeling of uneasiness that was steadily rising. His eyes wandered all over the place, scanning, searching for the kind soul who would guide him to salvation. Too bad Junmyeon didn’t provide a description of the person he was suppose to meet. In fact, too bad Junmyeon didn’t give him any useful information at all aside from the ominous command to seek out the cafe nearby his campus. How did they know where he was anyways? Park Chanyeol probably did jack his phone! Why couldn’t men just be satisfied with Pepero?

 

From the corner of his eyes, he spied a flicker of movement approaching him. Once Baekhyun caught sight of the figure, he declared it was a false alarm, most likely a customer leaving. Tight black jeans paired with a leather jacket, he wasn’t the white collared staff member that Baekhyun was expecting. He seemed more like a trainee waiting to debut with his chiseled looks. 

 

To Baekhyun’s surprise, the false alarm stopped before him. His eyes were on Baekhyun, trailing up and down to inspect him, glancing at his phone once in a while before switching back to staring at the now self-conscious music student. “Are you Byun Baekhyun?” he asked at last. 

 

“Did Junmyeon send you?” Baekhyun knew it was impolite to respond with a question but better to confirm the other person’s identity before revealing his. 

 

The stranger in front of him nodded, his lips pulled together in a thin line as if he was displeased with how Baekhyun ignored his question. “So you  _ are _ Byun Baekhyun.” the question was posed once more, this time as an observation. 

 

“Yes, I am. Nice to meet you…” Technically that was a lie. Baekhyun wasn’t pleased at all considering the circumstances behind their meeting. Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to let the cursed dating scandal ordeal be a hindrance to him being a decent human being, he would try to be as civil and friendly as possible. 

 

“Sehun,” the stranger offered. “My name is Oh Sehun. Now that we are properly introduced,” his eyes flickered a darker shade, something more sinister. “Byun Baekhyun, come with me if you want to live.”    

 

Why didn’t the universe send a normal chauffeur?

  
  


♥

  
  


“I was expecting someone in a suit to show up,” Baekhyun confessed, awkwardly staring out the window at the passing buildings. 

 

“I had classes today so Chanyeol thought it might’ve been more convenient rather than sending an agent,” Sehun explained. 

 

Baekhyun was a little taken aback. Sehun was attending classes? If he was a staff member, someone pretty close to the talents since Chanyeol himself requested him to be the one to grab Baekhyun, wouldn’t he be working full-time? Who was Oh Sehun? 

 

“You seem a little too young to be a staff member at SM,” Baekhyun was greeted with a look of confusion in response. 

 

“I mean, occasionally I work part-time as a model so I count as a staff member at SM.” That made sense, Sehun being an actual model. Maybe Baekhyun had even seen an ad with Sehun somewhere. That led to the next question... 

 

“Why the heck did Park Chanyeol ask his model friend to pick me up?” Baekhyun wondered aloud without noticing.  

 

“Chanyeol made me do crazier stuff, he’s my cousin.” 

 

Baekhyun froze after hearing the keyword.  _ Cousin _ . Holy shit. This was Chanyeol’s real cousin, as in blood related family whose ties with the celebrity wasn’t just a ploy with ulterior motives. All of a sudden, the car ride just got way more awkward with the additional information. 

 

Wanting to escape reality with the help of his phone, Baekhyun reached for the cellular device only to pause before his hand delved into the depth of his pocket. Unable to withstand the invasive phone calls and spam messages, Baekhyun had sworn to not turn on his phone until he got a new number. Seems like distracting himself with Candy Crush was off the tables, staring outside the window it is then.    

 

Sehun, however, wasn’t planning on letting the conversation die off like Jongdae’s houseplants did after he forgot to water them for a few weeks. “Chanyeol told me about gaining a new cousin. Honestly, I’m down for it if you treat me to some bubble tea.” Dear Park Chanyeol, why did you feel the need to tell your legitimate cousin about the embarrassing ordeal? Sincerely, a very distressed Byun Baekhyun with a minor thirst for blood. 

 

“How much bubble tea will it take for you to never bring up the whole cousin thing again?” Baekhyun was fine with bribery if it meant covering up the mortifying lie. He shivered at the thought of being related to Park Chanyeol, lie or not. 

 

The model was concentrating so hard on choosing a solid number that random math equations were floating around him. Baekhyun caught a glimpse of the quadratic formula and his mind was befuzzled on how that was even remotely related to bubble tea. The Lord works in mysterious ways, Baekhyun thought as he stared at bubble tea loving cousin of Park Chanyeol. 

 

The bubble tea addict was taking his sweet time with deciding a reasonable amount of tapioca drinks in exchange for silence. In fact, even when they maneuvered past the security and cleared through the secret entryway of the underground parking lot, Sehun was still pondering how much he should charge for a secrecy fee. 

 

“Uh, how about we work out the payment another time,” Baekhyun suggested once the engines settled into a slumber. The model shrugged, pulling the key out of the car’s ignition switch. He checked his phone briefly before pushing open the car door and making his way out of the vehicle. Baekhyun awkwardly unbuckled his seat belt and mimicked the actions of the driver.

 

Sehun didn’t utter a single word while leading him to an elevator, nor did he speak up during the ride to the seventeenth floor. He was too engrossed with his phone, his brows furrowed in concentration. When the metal doors slid open, he strutted out of the elevator onto territory that he’d stepped foot upon plenty of times. 

 

“Junmyeon said I should bring you to the casual meeting room,” Sehun said, completely oblivious to the fact that Baekhyun doesn’t even know about the different meeting rooms situated within the building. Nevermind the meeting rooms, Baekhyun never went beyond ground level during his occasional visits in hopes of catching a glimpse of the idols. 

 

He tried to not let the framed pictures, each containing a different artist and their dazzling smile, faze him. His eyes were glued to the floor, granite and newly waxed. Baekhyun was standing on the same grounds as the people he’s idolized since high school. Him. Ordinary fanboy who cries at Kyungsoo fancams at 2am while procrastinating on assignments. When he’s not near tears because of Kyungsoo, he’s bouncing around belting out the lastest Girl’s Generation or Red Velvet song. Oh god, he was going to end up never wanting to take off his shoes now, wasn’t he? 

 

“You seem so calm for a fanboy,” Sehun remarked as they were approaching their final destination. 

 

Baekhyun laughed, not knowing how else to respond. “Trust me, my mind was blown as soon as we entered the elevator. Do you know how many legends rode that elevator? SHINee probably paid for that elevator,” his eyes sparkling in awe. 

 

“Of course, you’re speaking to one of those legends right now,” Sehun joked. Somehow, the air of friendliness surrounding the model overrode the nervousness that Baekhyun previously felt. 

 

Sehun stopped in front of a glass door. The meeting room was barricaded by glass panels, transparent and opened. Baekhyun counted four figures seated around a mahogany table. Fiery red caught his attention, vividly contrasting against the room’s colour coded aesthetic of black and white. He felt his stomach plummet, his heart involuntarily pounding against his rib cage. It was too soon. His sore cheeks were still hospitalized. 

 

His guide didn’t even bother with the common courtesy of knocking, opting to barge in with the grace of a rampant hurricane: bold and as loudly as possible so every head in the room snaps to his direction. The meaning of subtlety was lost on Oh Sehun as he made his entrance as dramatic as imaginable.   

 

The model’s need for theatrics continued as he cleared his throat in a showy fashion. “I brought Baekhyun,” he proudly proclaimed. 

 

“Well done.” Sehun’s lips stretched into a grin, pleased by the praise from Junmyeon. He shuffled away from the entry way, no longer blocking Baekhyun from the others’ views. 

 

 Five pairs of eyes kept their gaze on him, predators waiting to strike on their prey, watching carefully, anticipating his next move. Baekhyun was less nervous singing to hundreds of people during the music festivals that his department would host, so why was the thought of five spectators so nerve-racking for him? 

 

With the sound of creaking, Junmyeon was out of his seat and approaching Baekhyun. He made a detour last minute, switching lanes to head towards Sehun instead. “Your management team wants to discuss your next photoshoot. They should be downstairs on the eighth floor.” Sehun obeyed the orders, closing the glass door behind him with noticeably more finesse this time.  

 

Okay, so five pairs of eyes were down to four instead. Nothing about the situation has changed though, he still had to survive an undoubtedly awkward conversation about his dating scandal with Park Chanyeol, one that should have no reason to exist. 

 

Junmyeon tackled him next, taking a couple of strides to stand directly before him. His hand was offered in a professional manner, a gesture that was habitual for the older man. Baekhyun returned the handshake with a firm grip, willing his hands to not reveal any fear by quivering too much.

 

“You must be troubled,” a tense smile followed the statement. Junmyeon broke the union between their hands, making his way to an empty chair. “Take a seat,” he motioned to the chair opposite to him. 

 

Baekhyun’s feet weighed like cement, each step was difficult and mentally taxing. The other three within the room remained unmoving, motionless except for the trailing of their eyes. He felt his feet give in a split moment before he was seated. His relief was short-lived as he noticed the multiple magazines and newspaper articles scattered before him. 

 

The content all varied, none of them true. The media twisted the situation however they pleased in order to garner attention. Only a picture tied the articles together, an out-of-context photo taken with such unmistakable clarity that Baekhyun swore he could see individual strands of his hair. He picked up a magazine and examined the cover.

 

Were they standing _ that _ close last night? There was no way that expression of fondness was directed towards him. If the lack of space between the two weren’t enough to fuel the idea that they were an item, the picture just had to capture the moment when Chanyeol was cupping Baekhyun’s cheeks in his hands as if he’s holding the entire universe. 

 

Baekhyun noticed there was a smudge of paint on the photograph, his inner perfectionist beckoned him to wipe it clean. He swiped his thumb across his cheeks, the pink tint remained untouched. He tried again, harder this time. No trace of paint was found on his thumb. No changes with the photo either. None of this made sense, unless… The person who leaked the picture must have edited the pink blotches on his face. Yes, that was a more plausible explanation than him naturally blushing because of Park Chanyeol. 

 

Unfortunately, the photo, angle and timing-wise, captured a moment of intimacy where a romantic relationship was the only explanation. Their close approximation accompanied by the patent blush sprawled across the shorter’s face provided the picture-perfect evidence for the media and fans to spin a tall tale about their secret relationship. 

 

With shaky hands, he set the crinkled magazine down. His eyes drifted towards Junmyeon, the one who promised answers. They say that eyes were the gateway to a person’s most inner thoughts; Junmyeon’s chocolate brown orbs remain an unexplored mystery. 

 

Baekhyun’s eyes on the other hand weren’t as well guarded. “You have a lot of questions, don’t you?” Cue vigorous nodding. 

 

“How did I end up apparently dating Park Chanyeol over the course of a single night?” Baekhyun’s voice came out harsher than he anticipated. 

 

“A fansite uploaded the picture on their blog, that’s where the circulation began. Eventually, the media caught a whiff of it.” 

 

He already dreaded the answer before he asked. “Is there a way to shut the rumours down?” 

 

Junmyeon shook his head, “if there was, this meeting wouldn't even be taking place. As it stands, too much of a commotion was made, all the news outlets are currently broadcasting this as their top story. We need to release an official statement soon.”

 

“What will you say?” Baekhyun evaded the gaze from the four others in the room, opting to stare at his clenched fists. They trembled uncontrollably, his grown out nails digging into the skin of his palms, etching crescent moons on the unblemished surface. 

 

“That’s why we’re gathered today, to finalize the statement that our company will issue.” His eyes abandoned the familiarity of his fingers, peering at the figures before him. Kim Junmyeon, Zhang Yixing, Do Kyungsoo, and Park Chanyeol wore masks of solemnity. 

 

Baekhyun’s throat clotted, rendering him helpless. He felt so insignificant surrounded by the four, each encompassed by auras of success. The raven haired music major had no place within the group. Yet, somehow, Baekhyun had to participate in the drafting of the official statement, the clarification for  _ his  _ dating scandal with Park Chanyeol. Did Lady Luck’s crush on him evolve into deep hatred because this was the worst day of his entire life. 

 

The co-manager of Bright spoke for the first time in Baekhyun’s presence. “There’s no other way to address this but to confirm that they are dating,” Yixing had a displeased look on his face. Zhang Yixing’s first words were way different from Baekhyun’s fantasies of being best friends with Kyungsoo; Fantasy Yixing did not advocate for Baekhyun to be in a romantic relationship with Park Chanyeol.   

 

“What about the fake cousin story?” Chanyeol asserted. “If we manage to pull it off yesterday we can-” 

 

“Chanyeol, none of us bought the story about a cousin who was studying abroad,” Kyungsoo clarified. “Junmyeon and I just let things slide because Baekhyun was cute.” Under normal circumstances, the fanboy would be over the moon hearing his idol describe him as cute. That sense of joy never took ahold of him, uneasiness manifested instead.

 

“Kyungsoo’s right, lying about a cousin is not a viable option. The photographic evidence portrayed an undeniable romantic undertone. Confirming a relationship would be our best choice,” Junmyeon concurred. 

 

Baekhyun expected Chanyeol to object, he needed Chanyeol to object. He didn’t have authority among the group, there must be someone else to lead the fight. The one time when Baekhyun wanted to hear his voice, the crimson haired idol remained mute. He too surrendered to the proposal of announcing a romantic relationship. 

 

A beat of silence trespassed the room. No one muttered another word. All forms of communication were downgraded to eye contact rather than words. Baekhyun didn’t dare join in. He waited for the moment when a general consensus was reached. 

 

“Byun Baekhyun,” a name uttered with immense conflicted emotions, urging him to give the speaker his undivided attention. “Will you do me the honour of being my boyfriend?” A bitter smile tugged at the edges of Park Chanyeol’s lips. 

 

Baekhyun couldn’t breathe.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a Jongdae voice: "It's all Chanyeol's fault." MY ALBUM FINALLY CAME which granted me the sudden boost of motivation to finish up this chapter. That and because I didn't want to work on my assignments. Anyways we've been so well fed with chanbaek recently I would like to thank Lord Oh Sehun. This chapter is messy... I just wanted to pump something out before actually trying tackle my school stuff so I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes I'm a mess. Does this count as a cliff-hanger? Nah. Thank you to anyone who's been reading this fic ilysm!!! [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Autumnyuyu?lang=en) if anyone wants a new friend. Once again thanks for the support! @Lily idk what to do with the newfound knowledge that your theory place smells like durians but have fun dying and I expect you to follow my example and work once you get home. We should like make a pact, for every chapter I post, you work for two hours. Maybe that can be the cure to our horrible work habits.


	6. Have him take you home on his motorcycle

Chanyeol felt like the catalyst of a calamity. The fanboy sitting metres away from him was about to shatter any second. His body tremorred in a heartbreaking manner, his ragged inhales and exhales echoed off the walls. Baekhyun, someone he met less than twenty four hours ago was having a breakdown  _ because of him.  _

 

If only he wasn’t so careless. He should’ve known better than to tease the fanboy in a public area. His mistake didn’t just invite harm onto himself, the other party involved in the dating scandal would be the one most severely affected. He dealt with malicious media and fans before, Baekhyun didn’t. He hated himself for decimating the peaceful life of a kind stranger who was willing to put up with his unreasonable requests. Chanyeol should’ve never hopped into the backseat of someone else’s car to evade his own problems. 

 

“You don’t know anything about me,” Baekhyun protested meekly, “I could be a serial killer for all you know.” 

 

“Background checks debunk those claims,” Junmyeon helpfully supplied.  

 

Baekhyun’s hands were shaky as he whipped out his phone and frantically typed. He held the screen on display, “I’m an anti-fan,” he pleaded as he scrolled through the twitter account. “I even made fun of his abnormally large ears!” Chanyeol’s heart sank a little at the revelation. Oh, so he wasn’t just a solo stan. 

 

“Then there’s no worries about Chanyeol being taken advantage of,” Yixing tried to put a positive spin on the proclamation. 

 

“I-I don’t even like him!” Baekhyun screamed as a last resort. 

 

“You don’t actually need to be in love with him,” the manager studied him. “We just need the two of you to  _ appear _ as if you were in a romantic relationship under the eyes of the public. You can slap him as much as you want off screen. Scratch that, we can’t tolerant physical harm done to our idols. Settle for verbally bashing him, not too hard though because he’s extremely sensitive.” 

 

Normally Chanyeol would playfully protest against Junmyeon’s teasing, he didn’t this time. His words died on the tip of his tongue when his gaze landed on Baekhyun. There were no traces of the snarky raven haired anti-fan from last night. The man sitting in the conference room was panicked and in clear distress. His laboured breathing was due to discomfort. Chanyeol hated the sight. 

 

“He doesn’t have to be my fake boyfriend if he doesn’t want to. We can find another way.” Frankly, he wasn’t sure if there even was another way.  

 

“Do you understand the implications behind that statement? Do you understand that you are jeopardizing your career, jeopardizing the future of Bright? If we don’t clear your reputation, not only will you risk having your contract terminated, your partner will also suffer the consequences.” 

 

Chanyeol wordlessly stared back at Junmyeon. 

 

“We can’t force an unwilling university student into a staged relationship when he doesn’t have any involvement with the industry,” Kyungsoo defended in Chanyeol’s place. “Junmyeon, we signed up for this type of lifestyle, to be followed around by intrusive paparazzi trying to sell the next big scandal. Baekhyun didn’t. If Chanyeol’s stupid mistake annihilates our career, I’d rather we retire than assure an innocent fan in front of a pack of wolves to amend things.” 

 

Chanyeol could always count on Kyungsoo to speak his mind. He had gone and vocalized the bold claims that Chanyeol wanted to make. Chanyeol wanted to hug his friend but decided against it because he’d undoubtably get punched. Another rejection wasn’t something that the fiery haired rapper could handle at the moment. 

 

“Years of hard work,” Junmyeon emphasized, “are you really prepared to forsake your future?” 

 

His manager’s question struck a chord. Abandon his dream as a musician and disappoint his fans? He’d scale mountains of razor sharp nails and cross oceans of lava before yielding. But to secure his career at the expense of someone else’s happiness? His morals couldn’t possibly let him commit such a crime. 

 

“I’ll do it,” a feeble voice halted Chanyeol’s train of thought. 

  
  


♥

  
  


Did Byun Baekhyun just voluntarily sign up to become Park Chanyeol’s fake boyfriend? His mind was muddled with worries and doubt surrounding the idea of pretending to be dating one of the hottest idols in South Korea. Baekhyun was a spectator to the fandom’s dark history since he was a veteran Star (cutest fandom name ever in his opinion). He bore witness to purges of the nastier ‘fans’ and was more than aware of how protective Stars can be when it came to the idols. 

 

Coming out as a couple would be suicide for Baekhyun. There wasn’t a more obvious target to aim jealousy and hatred at than the boyfriend that came out of nowhere. He wasn’t looking forward to blatant amount of criticism that’ll arise from this. 

 

At least, if he was singled out, Bright wouldn’t receive as much of the backlash. A statement that denies the photographic evidence is the surefire way to taint Chanyeol’s positive reputation. Like clogs in a functional machine, they were interconnected. Once Chanyeol falls from grace, Kyungsoo would be dragged down as well. 

 

Baekhyun owed so much to Kyungsoo, to his inspiration, his saviour. His fan instincts and love for the idol overrode the threats that came along with being Chanyeol’s fake boyfriend. 

 

A little louder and more certain of himself, “I’ll do it,” Baekhyun repeated. “I will be Park Chanyeol’s fake boyfriend. That sounds ridiculous doesn’t it, coming from an anti-fan,” a wearily smile followed. 

 

“But-” 

 

“I fail as a Kyungsoo stan if I’m the reason his career is in jeopardy. His voice is the future, I will gladly do whatever it takes to pave his way to success,” he shut down Chanyeol’s protest with a dramatic flare. 

 

“Besides, weren’t you the one who asked me out earlier?” The crimson haired idol stared at him, eyes wide open and mouth ajar. 

 

Junmyeon coughed, successfully diverting everyone’s attention. “Since both parties consented to being a couple under the eyes of the public, we should proceed with negotiations.” 

 

“Negotiations?”

 

“A legal contract is mandatory in this situations. Legal precautions must be taken to ensure that neither party is taken advantage of. On a bit of a short notice, our legal representative is currently unavailable. However, we can still proceed with the development of the contract and have it officialized in a few days,” Yixing informed.

 

A legally binding contract? If possible, Baekhyun was even more intimidated by the notion of dating Park Chanyeol than mere moments ago. 

 

“First things first, our company’s privacy policy. Any information regarding SM Entertainment or our staff, especially the talents, will not be publicly disclosed. Failure in upholding this oath of silence will result in dire consequences, no exceptions.”

 

“I understand,” he promised Junmyeon. 

 

“Next is regarding your behaviour in public. Chanyeol is a prominent figure in the media. As his boyfriend, you must maintain a well respected profile.” Baekhyun nodded. The most socially unacceptable deed he’s ever done was eat convenience store ramen on a park bench at 3am after a heated argument with Jongdae. He was confident in his ability to preserve a squeaky clean image.

 

Chanyeol raised his hand to speak, Baekhyun couldn’t help but associate that action with a kindergartener. “Yes, Chanyeol?” Junmyeon inquired with confusion. 

 

“There should be a section added to guarantee that we will do everything in our powers to protect Baekhyun’s privacy.” Huh. “It’s my fault that we are resorting to this, the least we can do is to keep the media from nosing their way into his own personal space.” Guilt was probably what drove Chanyeol to act this way. Despite that, Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel touched by his efforts.

 

“That goes without saying,” Yixing mused, showing off his dimple. 

 

Chanyeol nodded and relaxed into his chair. 

 

“Public displays of affection should be a main part of the contract if we are intent on fooling the masses,” the person with the most acting experience advised.

 

Baekhyun choked. He had temporarily forgotten that selling a romantic relationship involved physical interactions. Panic slapped him in the face when he realized that oh god, he signed up for makeout sessions with one of the most eligible bachelors in South Korea. Abort, abort! 

 

“Occasional hand-holding and hugs should be enough, right?” Chanyeol questioned with a tense smile. Should Baekhyun be offended that the idol didn’t want to makeout with him? His pride as a man said yes, but the anti-fan part of him was rejoicing the minimal prospect of lip touching in the near future. 

 

Kyungsoo shook his head. “That gives room for the public to doubt. The aim of announcing a fake relationship is to clearly state that you two are romantically involved. If you commit to this facade, kissing is unavoidable.” 

 

“Both parties have permission to initiate acts of physical contact i.e. hand-holding, hugging, and kissing to convince the public of their couple status. Any objections?” Junmyeon, figuring that their silence advocated their approval, proceeded to jot down the basis of that section. Baekhyun inwardly groaned in pain at his failure to dodge the bullet. 

 

Noticing his grimace, Yixing asked, “do you want to add a condition, Baekhyun? You seemed a bit troubled.” 

 

He bit his tongue and scrambled his mind for a response that no way suggests that his feelings regarding the necessity of kissing Park Chanyeol was equaled to that of receiving a death sentence. He was struggling to accomplish such a feat. If only Jongdae was here, he thought. His brunette friend would do enough speaking for the both of them. 

 

An eureka moment struck him. “I was wondering if I could tell my roommate the truth about this arrangement?” Baekhyun mustered a shy smile, misdirecting any shred of doubt that he was contemplating anything else, especially the torture in form of kissing Park Chanyeol,  _ in public _ . Plus, he really didn’t want to pretend around his closest friend. 

 

All four pairs of eyes snapped to him, he gulped. Maybe that wasn’t the best cover question. “Uh, my roommate is my best friend,” Baekhyun began. Best friend wasn’t even close to describing their relationship. Jongdae was there for him when he was drowning, waves of despair clashing against him, plunging him deeper and deeper into the ocean of misery. Jongdae was there, cat-smirk and echoing laughter, ready to fight off any demons on his endeavour to guide Baekhyun to sunshine and happiness. Jongdae was the closest thing he had to family, he’d be damned if he had to lie about his fake boyfriend to the person who understood him the most. “I don’t want to lie to him,” his voice cracked. 

 

Junmyeon shook his head, “We can’t exactly reveal this information to outsiders.” 

 

“But he’s not an outsider! He’s the person who knows me the best!” Baekhyun hesitated, unsure if he should continue. Swallowing his doubt, “he’ll never believe in the relationship anyways,” he told them. “Just yesterday, he was calling me out for being a bitter solo stan. Please, if I tell him the truth, he can coordinate with us.” 

 

The manager reconsidered. “Does this really mean so much to you?” Junmyeon tentatively asked. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

Baekhyun won the battle once Junmyeon moved his pen jot down the request. The contractee let out a breath of relief. Lying about a fake boyfriend wasn’t ideal in a friendship, especially if said friend knew the fake boyfriend was someone who you disliked for several years and counting.   

 

“On that topic, we need to restrict who knows about the arrangement,” Yixing assessed. “Including those present in this room, the only ones who are aware of this are the executives. Except for the special case of Baekhyun's friend, there should be no other exceptions.” 

 

“What about my family?” Chanyeol objected. 

 

“That would be too messy.” The crimson haired idol seemed ready to plead his case, Yixing continued before he could. “There’s too much potential for slip-ups. What if they offhandedly mention it to a relative or friend? What if they disagree with having a fake boyfriend? At least with Baekhyun’s friend, Baekhyun will be there to monitor him. The less people we tell, the less likely the lie will be exposed.” 

 

Chanyeol bit his lips, restraining himself from speaking. Junmyeon peered up from his notes, noticing the tense mood in the room. “Didn’t you complain a couple of weeks ago about your family pestering you about dating? Just introduce Baekhyun and omit the part where it’s pretend.”  

 

“Can I at least tell my sister?” Chanyeol asked with a sigh of defeat. “Yoora would kill me if I kept this a secret from her.”

 

Junmyeon and Yixing shared a look of contemplation. “I guess it’s only fair. But only Yoora,” his manager stressed. 

 

After a few more lines of writing, the sound of pen scratching on paper stopped. Junmyeon tapped his pen on the table twice before he averted his eyes from the neatly printed notes. 

 

“The legal team will handle the specifics and revise the conditions based off of these guidelines. Now, we need to discuss the consideration.” A beat of silence transpassed the room. Without looking, Baekhyun could already feel the four pairs of eyes fixated on him. They needed to stop looking at him at the same time unless they wanted him to drop dead from a stress induced heart attack. 

 

“Name an amount,” Yixing prompted. “As long as it is within reason, SM Entertainment is willing to negotiate a sizable sum for the consideration of the contract.” 

 

“What?” Baekhyun dumbly asked. 

 

“Money,” Kyungsoo clarified. “We don’t expect you to date this dork for free. Name a price. I suggest something with quintuple digits, maybe even sextuple considering this is Chanyeol that we are talking about.” 

 

“Can we stop with the Chanyeol bashing? I get that I’m an idiot but I have feelings too!” He glanced at Baekhyun and offered an awkward shrug. “I agree though, you should demand at least five digits. Might as well make the most of the situation.” 

 

Baekhyun took a minute to think things over. If the twenty-something years of living had taught him anything it would be that money doesn’t solve all your problems. However, money was essential to him attending all of Bright’s schedules. What amount would be enough to sustain him for the rest of their careers? 

 

“Instead of money, can I get a free pass to attend all of Bright’s schedules? Wait, nevermind, all of Kyungsoo’s schedule?” Forget money, he could just directly make arrangements to attend future events.

 

His request earned him confused head tilts. Was he demanding too much? Should he narrow the timeframe instead? Maybe only during the dating period was more reasonable. Afterwards, he’ll just revert back to his old ticketing habits and forever pool all his savings into supporting Do Kyungsoo. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything...Bigger? You’re a music major right? Want to try auditioning? You could always gain publicity from this whole dating ordeal and accentuate your talents,” Yixing encouraged. 

 

“I’m not really suited to be an idol,” Baekhyun admitted. Sure, most of his inspirations were musical artists, but trying to become one himself? No. Too much stress, too many restrains, and far too less control over his own life. He was aiming towards a more peaceful way of spreading his love for music, perhaps a vocal coach or a piano teacher. 

 

“Are you sure there’s no other requests? By agreeing to our arrangements, you automatically have the rights to attend any Bright event.” 

 

“Am I allowed to ask for merch?” To be fair, some Kyungsoo photocards were impossible to get without inside connections. Would he feel guilty that he cheated to obtain the photocards? Yes, but the satisfaction gained when he finally fills the empty slots in his photocard album overrides everything. 

 

Baekhyun heard a snort poorly disguised as a cough originating from Yixing. Oh no, did he accidentally break a fandom rule or something by asking for merch. Actually, now that he thought about it, he’s currently violating around fifty of those sacred laws by being in such close approximation of the idols. He prayed to Lord Kyungsoo that his Stars card wouldn’t get revoked, he had veteran discounts and privileges he couldn’t afford to lose.

 

“I really want that limited edition photocard of Kyungsoo wearing a flower crown.” Yixing didn’t even try to hide his laughter this time. 

 

“He’s so pure, oh my god, I can see why Chanyeol got away with sneaking him in the dressing room now. Don’t worry Baekhyun, you can have all the Kyungsoo photocards you want when you start dating Chanyeol. We’ll put together a collector’s edition of every single piece of officially released Bright merchandise if you want, life-sized cardboard cutouts included.” 

 

Would this be a bad time to admit that he was already in possession of a life-sized cardboard cutout of Kyungsoo? Baekhyun came to the conclusion that, yes, it would be an extremely inappropriate time to confess that little tidbit about himself. 

 

“I’m the luckiest Star in the whole wide world,” he murmured, already mentally mapping out how to rearrange his dream bedroom now that he’s been guaranteed new merch. Maybe he can bargain with Jongdae and stick some posters in his room too. 

 

“Funny how he’s saying that about getting merch and not because he’s going to be fake dating an idol. Kyungsoo stans these days are wild,” Yixing starts crackling once again.  

  
  


♥

 

 

After another half an hour of awkward conversations and at least twenty near heart attacks from accidental eye-contact with Kyungsoo, the meeting was wrapping up. Baekhyun was told to discard his leaked number and accepted the new phone supplied by the company. His contact list was filled with the personal numbers of those present in the room with him. In case you have additional questions and to be sure we can contact you at all times, they explained. 

 

Things were moving so fast, Baekhyun could hardly even breathe. Before he walked into the building, he assumed the misunderstanding would be resolved within a couple of days and things would blow over. Now, he somehow entered into a contract with SM Entertainment for an indefinite amount of time to fake date one of their idols while earning a pay wage of Kyungsoo merch… Everything about this situation was insane.

 

Then, things became more insane: he was going to be driven home by Park Chanyeol. Since Sehun was busy with his modelling stuff, Junmyeon was about to make arrangements with the staff for another chauffeur. All of a sudden, the brilliant idea of Chanyeol being his chauffeur was imposed. Baekhyun assured them that he could just take a taxi and save Chanyeol the trouble. However, they pointed out the golden opportunity for publicity if Chanyeol was seen driving his boyfriend. Thus, Baekhyun was stuck with the idol.

 

“No one said anything about a motorcycle,” Baekhyun felt lied to. There goes his plan of staying in the backseat, staying far, far away from the idol. 

 

Chanyeol strapped on his helmet before motioning for Baekhyun to come closer. The anti-fan reluctantly obliged, inching closer and closer until he was a metre away from the giant. 

 

All of a sudden, his head was wrapped in a blanket of pressure. A trail of fire spread across his body as the slender fingers brushing against his neck adjusted the helmet’s buckles. Baekhyun was almost about to curl into the warmth. Almost. The hands drew away before he had the chance to. 

 

“I'm not a child, you know.” 

 

“I know,” Chanyeol swung his right leg over his bike, getting into position for take off. He padded the seat behind him, gesturing for the raven haired man to hop on. 

 

After struggling for a few minutes, Baekhyun successfully saddled the motorcycle. He made sure to linger on the edge of his seat, putting as much distance as possible between him and the idol. Chanyeol had other ideas. 

 

The idol took ahold of his hands and repositioned them to wrap around his torso. “Hold tightly,” he commanded, hands securing Baekhyun's arms in place. “I don't want you to get hurt.” 

 

Baekhyun did as he was told and squeezed the idol with all the strength that he could muster. The action incited a sharp cry of pain and a look of dismay from Chanyeol. “You said to hold tightly,” Baekhyun feigned innocence. 

 

To get back at him, the idol started the engine and sped off without any warning. The sudden momentum startled the anti-fan and made him cling to the driver in fear of falling off. 

 

He face was mushed against Chanyeol's back. The crimson haired man smelled like flowers. The scent was so captivating that Baekhyun couldn't think about anything else except the fact that Park Chanyeol smelled like flowers of all things. He was expecting thick and musky cologne; the light, airy fragrance caught him off guard. He smelled nice. Baekhyun was intoxicated by Park Chanyeol’s floral scent.  

  
  


♥

  
  


“I'm sorry for pinching your cheeks and involving you in a nationally known dating scandal,” the idol said when they were part way to Baekhyun's apartment. “If it's any consolation, you got some really squishable cheeks.” 

 

Yes, Baekhyun was aware of his squishable cheeks. Squishable cheeks that Park Chanyeol will never have the pleasure of squishing again. 

 

“You really need more romantic lines if you want to sweep me off my feet in front of thousands of cameras. You make a really tragic Nation's Boyfriend if that's the best that you can do.”

 

“For someone who's a self-proclaimed anti-fan, you pay a lot of attention to me.” Baekhyun couldn't see Chanyeol, not with him currently pressed against the giant's back. Even without looking, Baekhyun knew a wide smirk was plastered on the idol's face. 

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Wow, how shocking that the poll of the Nation's Boyfriend was on the page next to the poll for the Nation's Husband, which, Kyungsoo dominated whereas you won by a minimalistic margin of a couple hundred votes. Let's not forget that you are literally in a musical duo with my favourite idol. Believe me, I try to pay as less attention to you as possible.”

 

“You don’t have to,” Chanyeol murmured quietly. Their close approximation didn’t allow the comment to remain unheard. 

 

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun couldn’t stop himself from asking. 

 

“Agree to the whole fake dating thing,” he paused, “it’s not too late to back out.” 

 

The anti-fan’s grip on the idol tightened. He was right, Baekhyun didn’t sign the contract yet. If he wanted to, he could just keep a low profile for a couples of weeks and the media wouldn’t even remember him. They didn’t care about  _ who _ the idol was supposedly seeing in private, rather they care about whether or not the idol was actually seeing someone. So why did he agree to fake date Park Chanyeol?

 

“I’m doing it for the Kyungsoo merch,” Baekhyun reminded himself. This caused Chanyeol to let out a bark of laughter. 

 

“One day,” Chanyeol promised, “one day you’ll want my merch too. After all, you are my boyfriend now.” Boyfriend, Baekhyun still couldn’t wrap his head around that word. Boyfriend, he was Park Chanyeol’s boyfriend in the eyes of the public. Park Chanyeol was his boyfriend. How in the world did he end up becoming Park Chanyeol’s boyfriend? 

 

“Not your boyfriend just yet,” Baekhyun denied, savouring as much of his time spent not officially dating the crimson haired idol as possible. 

  
  


♥

  
  


Chanyeol really wanted to offer a sincere apology to the anti-fan, he really did. His brain mapped out an extremely lengthy and heartfelt speech. When it came out of his mouth however, all sincerity hopped off his bike and he ended up teasing the shorter man about his soft cheeks. Why was he such a tragic mess? 

 

Now, the anti-fan probably hated him even more than ever. His teasing was the only way he could have continued the conversation, but deep down Chanyeol knew he was overstepping boundaries. They were strangers who got thrown into an unexpected dating scandal together, not old friends who playfully joked with each other on a daily basis. His mind was up to speed with the memo, his mouth on the other hand was not. 

 

Since the flow of the conversation was already derailed, what more does he have to lose? Chanyeol inhaled. “Thank you,” every ounce of his gratitude poured into the two words. And he exhaled. 

 

A moment of silence trespassed. Ah, he hates me after all, the idol thought. Then, Baekhyun pinched him, almost causing him to veer off the path. Luckily, Chanyeol was composed enough to remain on course and not ram into an incoming vehicle from the other lane. 

 

“What was that for?”

 

“You're an idiot.” 

 

He has never been more aware of the two lanky arms wrapped his torso, nor the warmth of another body pressed against his back. 

  
  


♥

  
  


Baekhyun didn't speak for the rest of the ride. Thankfully, the idol didn't try to initiate anything either. The silence, something he desperately needed prior to the ride, now gave him too much time to think. 

 

‘Thank you’, the two words were playing on a loop. Why was he so affected by those two simple words? Thank you, Chanyeol sounded so genuine, so raw that it was overwhelming. Thank you, because Baekhyun was going to date him, fake or not. Thank you, Baekhyun no longer knew how he felt about Park Chanyeol. 

 

The motorcycle came to a halt outside of Baekhyun's apartment. Chanyeol tilted the bike so he could get off more easily. His feet reached the ground and immediately he unfastened the straps securing the helmet to his head. 

 

Hair flew everywhere. He held out the headgear, waiting for Chanyeol to accept it. The idol reached for his arms instead, drawing the raven haired anti-fan closer with a light tug. 

 

His touches were hesitant, Baekhyun could tell the idol was trying to be as gentle as possible. He was in deep concentration, trying to restore the individual strands of Baekhyun's wild hair to its initial form. Baekhyun relaxed into the grooming, not paying attention until the helmet was snatched from his hold. 

 

“There,” the giant mumbled. A friendly smile tugged at his lips, his obsidian eyes carried warmth. Baekhyun didn't trust himself to speak, he settled for a nod before rushing over to the apartment’s entrance. He paused in front of the metal doors, turning around, sparing Chanyeol one final look. Baekhyun opened the door and disappeared from sight. 

 

Behind the doors, he could hear the rumbles of a motorcycle coming to life. The roars of the motorcycle grew quieter and quieter. Baekhyun didn't make his way to the elevators until the roars were non-existent. 

  
  


♥

  
  


Baekhyun barely stepped foot inside his apartment when he was faced with an irritated roommate. 

 

“You better have a good explanation about this,” Jongdae was not sporting his usual cat-like smirk. Baekhyun gulped.  

 

“It really ought to be like that sometimes,” he deadpanned.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays y'all I'm not dead!!!!! Hopefully this update can make up for a month of being absent...I blame school for sucking the life out of me. I LOVE LOVE SHOT OH MY GODDDDD I AM DECEASEDDDDDDDDDD (the Kaito Kid vibes from the teasers though). I'm sad there's no winter album this year but wait more than makes up for it like the song is exactly my type and ahhhhh it's so smoothing and I love it way too much. I went to see swing kids yesterday and guys Kyungsoo is such a good actor words cannot express his talents please go watch it in theaters if you have a chance it's legit so good. @Lily let's go cry about another Kyungsoo movie next year too. Obligated link to [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Autumnyuyu?lang=en) which I somewhat use if anyone wants a new friend. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING YOUR SUPPORT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!!! Enjoy the rest of the year guys!


	7. Step 7: Have him save you from eating ramyeon alone

“I leave you alone for _one_ day and you get yourself dragged into a national dating scandal with the Nation’s Boyfriend. What the fuck?” Jongdae never looked more livid.  

 

After years of being best friends, they’ve seen each other tangled in plenty of absurd messes. Compared to accidentally accepting two dates to a festival, however, this was another level of ‘boy you screwed’.

 

“In my defense, he climbed into the backseat of my car. I didn’t initiate anything,” Baekhyun reasoned. To put things simply, it’s Chanyeol’s fault.

 

“Still! You agreed to the whole fake dating thing!? How reckless can you be!?” Very reckless is the answer considering that Baekhyun’s agreement was mostly based on adrenaline and his love for Kyungsoo.

 

“What was I supposed to do?”

 

“Not date Park Chanyeol and potentially ruin the rest of your life,” Jongdae advised. Too late for that. Baekhyun already consented to the arrangement in front four witnesses, one of them being Do Kyungsoo, aka the man who he would literally die for.  

 

Baekhyun fluttered his eyelashes and grabbed ahold of his roommate’s hands. Channeling his inner aegyo god, Baekhyun produced a little pout. “Please, please, don’t tell anyone. Not even Minnie-hyung. I only got permission to tell you because you’re my bestest friend in the whole wide world.”

 

Jongdae’s expression soften after his display of aegyo. Years of friendship and Jongdae still haven’t developed immunity against his tactics. Nice. Baekhyun fluttered his eyes a couple more times. His brunette friend broke free of his hold and pretended to swat his face.  

 

“Aish, this kid. So annoying,” Jongdae huffed. “One day your cuteness will have no effect on me. When that day comes, you’ll be the whipped one in this friendship.”

 

“Have fun waiting forever.” Jongdae whacked him for real this time.

 

“I won't tell Minseok-hyung or anyone about your little predicament, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook.”

 

“Jongdae… You can't stay mad at me forever,” Baekhyun rubbed his reddening cheek. He regretted teasing his friend.  

 

“I'm not mad. I'm worried, Baek, I'm worried about you. Do you know what you are getting into?”

 

Did Baekhyun know what he was getting into? Was he aware of the restless media who would never leave him alone once they announce their fake relationship? The extreme saesangs who would try to make his life hell? Of course he knew. Years of dwelling within fandoms shown him how detrimental a single scandal can be. But what other choice did he have? Not fake date Park Chanyeol and risk nasty rumours ruining the career of his favourite artist? Nope, never in a millions would he ever let that happen.

 

“I know what I'm doing,” Baekhyun whispered. “I'm fake dating Park Chanyeol.”

 

Jongdae was momentarily stunned by his honesty. “Well, at least you aren’t fake dating Do Kyungsoo. You really wouldn’t shut up otherwise,” he joked before pulling him into a hug. Baekhyun found his face tucked into his friend's neck. He wasn’t sure why Jongdae hugged him out of the blue, but he didn’t care. The warmth felt nice. Baekhyun let himself relax into the hug.  

 

After a moment of silence, Jongdae spoke up and ruined the tender moment with a threat. “If you get hurt-”

 

“I won't,” he promised, to Jongdae and to himself. “I won't.”

  


♥

  


After sending his contracted boyfriend home, Chanyeol was put under house arrest until further notice. He felt conflicted about the whole ordeal. On one hand, he was given the opportunity to befriend the cute anti-fan. On the other, the raven haired man was practically forced to spend time with him because of a dating scandal… Okay, conflicted feelings were cancelled, he felt extremely bad about the whole situation. Like grovel on his knees and beg for forgiveness bad.

 

When he arrived home, the first thing he did was flop onto his couch and open his messages. Junmyeon commanded him to immediately check in when he had the chance. The idol rolled his eyes upon seeing the spam his worrywart manager sent. He quickly texted a brief update to guarantee that his manager didn't end up being hospitalized because of stress.  

 

Closing the conversation, he saw the unfamiliar number added to his contact list. _'Byun Baekhyun’_. The contact name glared at him. He felt an unusual tingle just by staring at the name. He ignored the strange feeling and tapped on the number to open a blank conversation. His thumbs hovered above the keyboard, waiting for the perfect words to come to mind.

 

He wrote four words before deleting three of them. Everytime he was close to sending whatever mess he wrote, he hesitated and backspaced everything. After erasing and rewriting the message a couple thousand times, Chanyeol finally gave up.

 

_Hey, this is Chanyeol, your future boyfriend. Thought it might be a good idea to send you a text, for future reference and all…_

 

That was the lamest first message in the history of lame messages. He stared intensely at the phone, anticipating a message in return. Ten seconds passed. Twenty. Thirty. A minute. Nothing.

 

Screw the stigma surrounding double texting and appearing desperate, Chanyeol craved attention. He was in the middle of typing a second message when a sharp ping stopped him in his tracks.

 

**If you ever hurt him, I will find you and shove a microphone down your throat. Your murder will remain an opened case for the rest of eternity.**

 

What the fuck. Chanyeol checked the contact name. Yup, he just received a death threat from his fake boyfriend. What a great start to a blossoming relationship.

  


♥

  


“Jongdae! Give me back my phone!” Baekhyun finally cornered his roommate after a quick game of chase around their apartment.

 

They were in the middle of marathoning Kyungsoo's entire filmography (a way for Baekhyun to cope with his newfound profession) when a text notification loudly blared. He unlocked the phone instinctively and froze when he saw Chanyeol's name. Jongdae, being the snoopy friend that he was, plucked the phone from his hands and read the message aloud.

 

Baekhyun wanted to facepalm at the awkwardness that was Park Chanyeol. Jongdae, however, had other plans. The rhythmic clicking was what alerted Baekhyun of his friend's diabolic scheme. Thus, they both initiated a race against time: to send a response before the phone is reclaimed or to catch the thief before the message is sent.

 

“Jongdae, I won't hesitate to grab a fork from the kitchen and stab you with it! Give it back!”

 

The brunette's escape routes were cut off, he had no other choice but to return the phone. The victory was his. “Fine,” his friend held it out as a peace offer. But not before he pressed send on the finished message and locked the phone.

 

Baekhyun had a suspicion. His roommate's willingness to cooperate was not a good sign. “Jongdae, what did you do?” He got his answer when he unlocked his phone.

 

“I gave him a warning,” he said unapologetically.

 

Baekhyun reread the message again. “That's a death threat…”

 

“A warning,” his friend stubbornly insisted.

 

“A death threat! Jongdae, you threatened to murder my fake boyfriend.”

 

“And?”

 

“That's bad etiquette!” Baekhyun screeched. “How am I going to get those limited edition photocards of Kyungsoo if my best friend stabs my fake boyfriend?”

 

“No one said anything about stabbing. Years of watching Detective Conan taught me how to spice up a crime scene. My legacy would not be reduced to a mundane stabbing.” Baekhyun still looked highly pissed off. “Chill, I won't actually follow through unless he hurts you. He’s safe… As long as he doesn't do anything stupid.”

 

Jongdae returned to their sofa and resumed the movie as if they didn't just trash their living room during their little game of chase. He draped his whole body on the couch and assumed the position of 'draw me like one of your French girls’. Baekhyun smacked his legs and told him to scoot over.

 

“It's annoying how you always forget I have a black belt in Hapkido and can kick your ass if I wanted to. Park Chanyeol could never stand a chance against me,” he mumbled. Jongdae didn't answer him, too engrossed in the movie.

 

For the first time in his life, Baekhyun couldn't care less about Kyungsoo tap dancing. He stared at phone clutched in his hands, wondering how the heck he would rectify Jongdae’s death threat. His fingers started automatically typing a few seconds later.

 

**Hi. This is Baekhyun. Sorry about the message before, my friend was just fooling around (^^ゞ. I am not secretly plotting your murder.**

  


♥

  


Chanyeol thought his heart was going to explode. Did he see that right? Did Baekhyun actually use a kaomoji in his text? Noooo, that's too freaking precious for him to handle. Why was his soon-to-be boyfriend so cute?

 

Too distracted by the use of the kaomoji, his brain didn't properly registered the contents of the message. After reread the latest text a couple of times, he felt the need to tease the anti-fan. In hindsight, maybe he should cut back on the teasing if he wanted the Kyungsoo-stan to like him. He'll adjust his behaviour in the future, he couldn't resist at the moment.

 

_“I am not secretly plotting your murder,” said every murderer ever. Cute kaomoji though, Murderer-ssi!_

 

The response came immediately.

 

**If you have a problem with the way I text say it straight to my face (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ Maybe I will start plotting your murder...**

 

_Is that a confession, Murderer-ssi? Hello, police? My fake boyfriend is plotting to kill me._

 

**I hate you ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ**

 

_That's not what you said last night, Mochi-cheeks._

 

The messages stopped after that. Really, there was no one to blame but himself. He took the teasing too far, forgetting that they weren't actually friends. He just had to go overboard and scare him off, didn’t he? Chanyeol was tired of messing up.

 

His phone remained untouched for the rest of the evening. He drowned himself in composing, letting his mind process the eventful day. Listening to the beats on his headphone, he felt his consciousness slipping and slipping, until there was nothing left to hold onto.

  


♥

  
  


Baekhyun woke up feeling tired and sore. Apparently, he fell asleep studying in the living room last night and Jongdae didn't even bother to move him from the couch. He discarded the thin layer of blanket draped around him and briefly stretched before proceeding with his average morning routine.

 

Sundays meant piano lessons with Hae Soo and Wang So. In this economy, most students had to pick up a part-time job to fund their university lifestyle, Baekhyun was no exception. Professor Hae, his modern literature teacher, approached him after the Welcoming Recital held by the music department for newcomers to showcase their talents. The professor attended the recital in hopes of finding a new piano teacher for his daughter. One thing happened after another and Baekhyun somehow landed the job despite not being a certified instructor.

 

He loved teaching the kids. Hae Soo, the nine-year-old angel, greeted him with a warm hug. She became much more open and affectionate towards him after years of playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star together. The first time they met, she refused to be in close approximation with him unless someone she’s close with was present. Hence, her neighbour/best friend Wang So was added to the lesson plans and he gained another disciple. Baekhyun couldn’t help but smile everytime he watched the two interact. Wang So, three years older, radiated a lone-wolf vibe which immediately dissipated the moment he came in contact with Hae Soo. He was quick to learn the new pieces of music and helped Hae Soo whenever she was struggling. Children were so precious.

 

“Baek-hyungie! Baek-hyungie!” Hae Soo tugged on his shirt.

 

“Hm? What’s wrong, Soo-ah?”   

 

She gave him a worried look. “You were spacing out. Are you not feeling well? Are you hungry? I can ask mommy to-”

 

“I’m okay, Soo-ah,” Baekhyun stopped the girl’s rambling. “I just remembered something important that I had to do.” That was a complete lie. The real reason why he got distracted was because his mind was occupied with stressing out about the fake dating arrangement.

 

It’s been two days since he last saw Chanyeol, the lack of contact fueled his paranoia. The idol was probably busy, being an idol and all, but he had at least expected the management team to reach out and give further instructions for their pretend relationship. Two days of restless silence. He felt like he could go insane any minute from the anticipation.

 

“Where did Wang So go?” he asked, needing a distraction.  

 

Hae Soo stared at him in confusion. “Oppa said bye when he left a few minutes ago. Are you sure you’re okay Baek-hyungie?”

 

“Ah, right, the lesson is over,” he wanted to smack himself for being so dazed. Quit thinking about Park Chanyeol while in the presence of cute children! He gave himself a couple of pats on the cheek and told Hae Soo “don't worry, hyung just needs some rest. Be good and practice lots okay, Soo-ah?”

 

The little girl nodded vigorously, bending her outstretched index finger to mimic her head-bobbing. Baekhyun shared a secret gesture with the young girl when they were getting acquainted. Instead of sticking out their thumb in approval, the two used their index fingers. If Hae Soo was using their code, he doesn't have to worry about her goofing off without his supervision.

 

“See you next time, Baek-hyungie!” He smiled and waved at her before walking out the door.

  


♥

  


He returned to a deserted apartment. Jongdae's lack of presence indicated that he was probably on a date with his boyfriend. His friends were so gross and infatuated with each other that it's unbearable to watch sometimes. He missed the simple times when they were a trio who'd fool around without the romantic tension. After Jongdae and Minseok began dating, he'd be lying if he said he didn't occasionally feel like the third wheel. Usually, he’d try his best to combat the bursts of loneliness that overtook him at times. Today was one of those rare days when he surrendered the battle and allowed himself to feel lonely.

 

Baekhyun was in the middle of boiling some water for his ramyeon when a sharp shrill made him flinch. Right, new phone. In the ten seconds it took for him to walk all the way to the living room, he decided his new ringtone (obviously the gorgeous track Kyungsoo sang for his new drama). Annoyed by the shrill ringing, he didn’t even bother checking the caller ID before picking up.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey,” he instantly recognized the voice. He felt a clump forming at the base of his throat.

 

“Chanyeol?”

 

“The one and only, Murderer-ssi!”

 

Baekhyun choked back a scoff. “Are you going to give me a ridiculous nickname every time we talk?”

 

“Would you prefer one of the more cliche nicknames people give to their boyfriends? Honey? Sugar? Darling? Baby? Oh, I actually quite like the last one, baby~,” his voice went lower on the last word and Baekhyun's knees might have involuntarily buckled. If only the idol made better use of his baritone voice.

 

“Stop, I get it! Give me whatever ridiculous nickname you want as long as you never do that again… Just don't go too overboard.”

 

“Right, sorry.” Chanyeol paused for a minute, enough time for Baekhyun to realize he left the stove on and rush back to the kitchen.

 

“Did you eat yet?” the idol asked after clearing his throat.

 

Baekhyun stared at his pot of boiled water and the packet of instant ramyeon on the counter. He sighed and told him the pathetic truth.

 

“Oh, uh, that's good. I'm waiting outside your apartment right now.”

 

Wait a minute...

 

“You’re what!?” He opened his blinds and peered downstairs. Sure enough, there was a man leaning against a motorcycle with a phone pressed to his face. “Why?”

 

“For a date, I guess? The management team said it might be a good idea for us to be seen together in public at least once before announcing our relationship. And we kind of forgot to plan a fake backstory for us so…”

 

“So we should meet up to talk about our nonexistent relationship?” The man downstairs nodded his head.

 

“Uh, you probably didn’t see, since this is a phone call and all, but I nodded my head. Yes. We need to get to know each other before we are outed to the public. Go on a date with me?” Baekhyun bit his tongue. “I even brought some signed Kyungsoo photocards.”

 

“I’ll do it!” Baekhyun exclaimed without a shred of hesitation. Getting lunch with Park Chanyeol seemed appealing if there were proper incentives set in place. He was almost out the door when his eyes trailed down to his worned out t-shirt and shaggy sweatpants. Oh no, he refused to make headlines while wearing stain-covered clothing.

 

“Uh, I need about five minutes to get ready so try not to do anything stupid while waiting.” Baekhyun didn’t wait for the idol’s response, he hung up to eliminate any distractions in his mission to ensemble a presentable outfit.

 

He quickly stripped off his casual attire, tossing it on his bed and made a mental note to take care of the mess later. After sorting through numerous options for a top (t-shirts, button-ups, crewnecks, and the occasional sweater vest), he settled for an oversized white hoodie that’s stylish but not to the point of looking desperate. His collection of skinny jeans was also raided in order for him to pair his previous selection with black skinny jeans, no rips or accessory zippers.  

 

Baekhyun did a final check in front of the mirror. Colour coordination seemed okay and his outfit didn't scream try-hard. Was he mentally prepared for a date with Park Chanyeol though? Not exactly, but he could try hiding his insecurities underneath the oversized hoodie and the hastily styled hair.

 

He took a moment to steady himself before marching across the lobby. The automated door took a few seconds to register his presence. It slid open, revealing his pretend boyfriend in a black leather jacket, ready to whisk him away on his polished motorcycle.

  


♥

  


Chanyeol couldn't breathe. When he arrived at his fake boyfriend's house unannounced, he was under the impression that Baekhyun would appear before him sporting a little glare and an untamed bedhead. After all, five minutes was not a sufficient amount of time to fashion oneself into a supermodel. He was wrong, so very wrong. Five minutes was all that Baekhyun needed.

 

The clothes were by no means the latest or trendiest. In fact, Chanyeol was pretty sure he modelled that exact hoodie last year. But god damn, standing before him was Byun Baekhyun, wearing an outfit from four seasons ago yet still managing to look like nothing Chanyeol's ever seen before (and he attended Paris’ fashion week). If he tidied himself up like this in five minutes, imagine what he could do in ten. Chances are, Chanyeol would end up six feet under with the inscription 'ten minutes was all that his boyfriend needed’ engraved on his tombstone.

 

“Is something wrong?” Baekhyun asked him, reminding him that he had been rudely gawking for the past minute.

 

“Nothing,” he breathily wheezed out. He cleared his throat and tried to maintain a cheerful demeanour. “Ready to go?”

 

Baekhyun blankly stared at him, as if he was waiting for something to happen. Chanyeol stared back, smiling awkwardly and praying for the raven haired man to just hop on his motorcycle already so he could woo him and be the best fake boyfriend ever.

 

“Can I please have a helmet?” Chanyeol blinked.

 

God he was such an idiot. He clumsily reached for the spare helmet dangling off the handle bars, it slipped and the sound of impact made him wince. So much for wooing. Chanyeol bent down to retrieve the fallen helmet, shaking it and dusting it off a couple of times before handing it to his date.

 

“Thanks,” he heard Baekhyun mumble as he fastened the clasps of the helmet.

 

Chanyeol tilted the motorcycle so the other man had an easier time getting on. Soon, he felt a warm pair of arms wrap around his waist and the sensation of another body pressed against his back. Would it be weird if he said he liked this? He snuggled into the heat and gave a quick warning of “hold tight,” before speeding off.

 

They spent a good duration of the ride in silence. Chanyeol concentrated on the road ahead, trying not to think about the slender fingers resting on top of his stomach.

 

“You look amazing,” the idol absentmindedly said as they were waiting for the traffic lights to turn green.

 

Chanyeol felt a bit silly in his ripped jeans and leather jacket. His date looked appropriately dressed for well, a date, whereas he seemed like he was going to lead a biker gang to a warehouse raid.

 

“Says the person in a leather jacket,” the comment so quick and faint that Chanyeol almost missed it. There was no hint of teasing behind that statement, meaning that it was genuine? ... _Oh_.

 

The new discovery amused the idol, a lot. “So Murderer-ssi likes leather, huh? How fitting.” Park Chanyeol just couldn't be Park Chanyeol without saying something stupid with every interaction.

 

“I will jump off if you don’t shut up.” In favour of not triggering his fake boyfriend’s untimely demise, Chanyeol wisely kept his mouth shut.

  


♥

  


Of all the places Park Chanyeol could’ve taken him, Baekhyun was not expecting a Subway. The little sandwich shop was cozily tucked in between a hair salon and a retro CD store. Didn’t the idol say this ‘date’ was meant to drum up publicity? Baekhyun had a hard time believing him with the lack of flashing cameras.

 

Chanyeol was waiting by the entrance, holding the door open for him. “Let’s go in,” he coaxed. Not seeing any better options, Baekhyun heeded.

 

The first thing Baekhyun noticed upon setting foot onto the restaurant was the heavenly aroma that instantly graced his nostrils. Beside him, the idol made a big show of him inhaling the scent and exhaling with a satisfied sigh of content.

 

“Smells nice, doesn’t it?” Chanyeol led him to a booth in a secluded area towards the back. “Junmyeon has a  Subway obsession. Thanks to him, I discovered this hidden gem. Best sandwiches in the city, I can guarantee it.”

 

Baekhyun took a seat across from the idol. He quite liked the ambience of the place, welcoming and cozy. There were a fair amount of customers, but not overcrowded to the point of causing discomfort. If anything, the chattering happening around them added to the warm ambience of the restaurant. Best of all, they were playing Kyungsoo’s track from his new drama, the one Baekhyun looped non-stop the day it came out.

 

“-derer-ssi. Mochi-cheeks!”

 

“Huh?” Baekhyun was so entranced by the music, the sudden cry startled him.

 

“I’ve been calling you for the last minute,” the crimson haired man in front of him appeared worried. “Are you alright?”

 

Baekhyun ducked his head down to hide the embarrassed flush sprawling across his face. He faked a cough before glancing back up. “Er, yeah, I’m okay… When’s the food getting here?”

 

“That’s why I was trying to get your attention,” Chanyeol replied. “Are you fine with me ordering for you? I know the signature subs here and I’m pretty confident in my guessing abilities.”

 

Baekhyun’s shrug was all the answer Chanyeol needed before making his way towards the counter. Being left alone, Baekhyun whipped out his phone and sent a quick update to his roommate. He got a response within a minute.

 

**_What are you doing!?!?!?!_ **

 

**Bold of you to assume I know what I'm doing (　･ิω･ิ)**

 

**_You absolute idiot (︶^︶)_ **

 

He was warming up his fingers to spam kaomojis when he heard footsteps approaching the booth. Acting out of flighty instincts, he quickly turned off his phone and jammed it into his pocket. Baekhyun tried to present himself with a calm, aloof countenance. _Tried._ He doubted he was the perfect picture of nonchalance.

 

Chanyeol didn't call him out for his awkwardness. In fact, the idol didn't notice at all. “This is going to blow you away Mochi-cheeks!” Excitement danced in his eyes and a wide grin plastered on his face as he handed his fake boyfriend one of the sandwiches he had been cradling.

 

Baekhyun slowly unwrapped his sub while Chanyeol stared at him like a puppy expecting a doggy treat. God, the idol was acting so weird about him eating the sandwich. Baekhyun wished the annoyance would stop being so thirsty over him trying to take a bite of his lunch and focus on eating his own sandwich. He wasn’t some sort of mukbang channel, the staring made him feel self-conscious and weirded out. Eventually, due to hunger and his acceptance that Park Chanyeol would never stop being creepy about watching him eat, he caved and nibbled the sandwich.

 

It was good. Heavenly, even. Calling it the best sandwich he ever sampled might be a bit of a stretch but for certain this was amongst his top ten. A single glance over to Chanyeol made it clear that the idol did not miss the little moan of delight he accidentally released while relishing the sub. He couldn’t help it, the flavours exploding in his mouth was divine.

 

“Good call not including the cucumbers huh?” Baekhyun’s eyes widened at Chanyeol’s question. He took another bite of the sandwich, this time noticing the lack of a particular fruit.

 

“How did you-”

 

“In the car,” Chanyeol interjected before Baekhyun could finish. “The first day we met, I wanted to be your friend… This might sound weird but I paid close attention to whatever you said. You can’t stand the smell of cucumbers right? I figured I’d leave those out of our sandwiches.”

 

Baekhyun swallowed, feeling the surface of his tongue turning more and more desert-like. He had offhandedly mentioned the cucumber thing as a means to get the idol to stop pestering him. Little did he know, Park Chanyeol, the man who had literally a million betters things to do other than remembering his hatred of cucumis sativus, actually kept that insignificant factoid in mind when ordering his sandwich. Baekhyun was absolutely, positively, a hundred percent stunned.

 

“Thanks,” he found himself saying. When the idol looked up from his own sub to face him, the raven haired man offered a genuine smile. Chanyeol returned a big smile of his own, showing off his pearly whites. There was a piece of lettuce stuck to the side of his teeth, but Baekhyun decided against telling the giant.

 

He was deeply engrossed in taking a large bite of his sandwich when he heard a click. Peering up from his delicious lunch, his eyes connected with the camera lens on the back of a phone. Chanyeol had the audacity to look embarrassed at being caught red-handed.

 

“I, er, need a photo to set as your contact picture,” he lamely said. Baekhyun considered demanding the idol to delete the picture of him mid-bite and without a doubt looking as unflattering as a seagull trying to cram a fish into its beak. He didn’t in the end, realizing he wasn’t petty enough nor did he care a great deal about Chanyeol’s perception of him. Besides, it would be complicated in the future if his supposed ‘boyfriend’ didn’t have at least a single pictures of his.  

 

Baekhyun was in the middle of chewing his last bite of sandwich when he suddenly remembered the purpose of the ‘date.’ “Weren’t we supposed to make up a fake backstory?” Chanyeol tilted his head slightly and gave Baekhyun a look of confusion. Suddenly his eyes widened as if he was an amnesiac patient gaining his lost memory back all at once.

 

The giant awkwardly stifled a cough. “Yes, right. So…” Chanyeol started to toy with the remains of the sandwich wrapper, the dragged on syllable filling the silence between the two. “What’s a cute story that sounds romance-novelesque but not to the point where it sounds fake?” Chanyeol prompted.

 

“I mean, you broke into my car and blackmailed me so I think anything else would be the epitome of romance,” Baekhyun deadpanned. The sound of paper ripping was clear indication that the idol had not expected such a blunt answer. Despite the chance meeting allowing him the opportunity to closely interact with his lord and saviour, Do Kyungsoo, he was still holding a grudge against the Yoda idiot who stole his pocky.

 

“Please be serious,” the raven haired man scoffed. He was dead serious when it came to his stolen pocky and hijacked car. “There’s no way we're telling the paparazzi that story,” Baekhyun challenged him with a raised eyebrow. Chanyeol returned the eyebrow raise. “How about the imaginary version of us? Let's say alternate universes exist. How did the Chanyeol and Baekhyun from that universe meet?”

 

Baekhyun tried to envision it, an alternate reality where he was actually friends with Park Chanyeol or heavens forbids, even in love with him. He tried to picture their first encounter, their first ten seconds of eye contact, their first words to each other. But nothing sparked, nothing clicked into place, nothing jumped out and slapped him in the face. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t imagine meeting Park Chanyeol under a different set of circumstances. Maybe because he was an anti-fan for so long. Or maybe because their first interaction was still so fresh and vivid in his minds, so much so that he felt phantom pinches probing his cheeks at random intervals throughout his day. Or even-

 

A snap in front of his face abruptly interrupted his mental ramblings. “You look deep in thought. Did you come up with anything?” Baekhyun's blank stare did all the talking for him.

 

“Guess not huh… How about your hobbies? Do you like gaming? Meeting friends via online gaming is all the trends nowadays, no one will suspect a thing!” That might actually work, the anti-fan agreed to his own surprise.

 

Chanyeol's eyes sparkled dazzlingly as he looked at the man sitting before him expectantly. Baekhyun sighed, “I do play some PUBG in my spare time… And League of Legends as well.” He dwindled his fingers, not really expecting his gaming habits to be relevant to their whole fake dating ploy.

 

“Great! We'll just tell the public we met while playing League. Since they can't exactly verify our accounts, we can make up whatever random details we want.” Yes, a spiraling web of lies was exactly what Baekhyun wanted.

 

“A year,” the anti-fan supplied. Chanyeol's puzzled expression encouraged him to continue. “We started gaming together a year ago. A year isn't too long for commitment so there shouldn't be a lot of backlash when we 'break up’ and it's long enough for a relationship to begin.”

 

Chanyeol seemed like he desperately wanted to reach over and tug him into a tight embrace if it wasn't for the table wedged between them. “Our cover story is set, Mochi-cheeks! Nice to meet you, boyfriend whom I met a year ago on League.” God have mercy on him. Why was Park Chanyeol such a dork? “Ready to move our date elsewhere?”

 

“Huh?” was Baekhyun's stunned response. Didn't they accomplish their goal? The backstory was semi-developed (well, sort of) and they finished eating, granted the paparazzi didn't show up to snap some pictures, but to hell with staged publicity. At this point, the date was going to end the second Chanyeol hand over the promised Kyungsoo photocards. So what the heck did Park Chanyeol mean by relocating the date?

 

“Yep, we're leaving! Are you still hungry? We can grab more food later but-” the fiery haired idol was already in the process of standing up.

 

“Wait! Where exactly are we going to go?” Caught in the moment, Baekhyun subconsciously mimicked Chanyeol's action.

 

Chanyeol threw him a smirk and grabbed ahold of his wrist. “Onwards, to the most romantic place around here!”

 

Was he really going to be blindly dragged along, again? Byun Baekhyun was a hermit who wanted to go home and edit his fansite pictures. Byun Baekhyun also just really wanted those signed photocards.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive... Barely... Chanbaek have been so married recently please I want to cry. Writer's block has been killing my soul so hopefully pumping out a chapter would generate some form of motivation. Haha, it's been like two years but I'm still not over Scarlet Heart Ryeo I have strong emotions. Apologies in advance for any editing errors, I kind of gave up and skimmed. @Lily look I'm doing something productive for once aren't you proud? Anyways thanks for reading!!! Link to [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Autumnyuyu?lang=en) if anyone is interested in gaining a new friend. As always stan the talented kings exo!!!


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